


One Hundred Ways to Say ‘I Love You’

by letitrainletitsnowbutdontletmego



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Drabbles, F/M, List, one shots, prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2018-12-05 05:26:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 29,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11571273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letitrainletitsnowbutdontletmego/pseuds/letitrainletitsnowbutdontletmego
Summary: My collection of one-shots and drabbles based on the prompts from the list with One Hundred Ways to Say 'I Love You'.





	1. 9 - I saved you a piece.

**Author's Note:**

> For prompt 9: "I saved a piece for you" submitted by justkillingtimewhileiwait. Full list of prompts can be found here. Enjoy, and please let me know what you think :)

This was all Jay's fault. It was usually him who ended up in large bodies of water when chasing after a suspect, so evidently, it had rubbed off on her. He had once told her that she had made him a better cop, and after that morning, she was definitely going to let him know that he made her a much more impulsive one.

Erin also blamed the fact that they had been split up that morning on Jay too, Hank having partnered her with Antonio whilst her boyfriend was sent out with Atwater. There had been no explanation as to why, and there definitely hadn't been anything personal coming into work to mess with the dynamics. It was probably just Hank's way of keeping them on their toes and making sure they worked well as a team, but as Erin peeled off the sopping wet layers off her body in the female shower room back at the precinct, she blamed Jay a little. God knows he didn't have to do much to rile up their boss on the wrong day. For someone who was so adamant about keeping personal and professional apart, Hank sure sucked at it.

The steam rising from the shower began to warm her before Erin had gotten the last layers off. It was a mild October day, meaning that she had shrugged on a cardigan under her light jacket before heading out with Antonio to locate a perp. Not much of her remained dry after tackling the teen into the waters of Lake Michigan, even if they had been by the shore. The icy waters had penetrated far more than just her clothes, and as she left them all in one heap on the floor, Erin simply hoped the slightly scalding shower would chase away the cold that had seemed to have seeped into her bones.

She wasn't sure how long she had stood under the spray for before there was a knock on the door, barely audible over the pounding water. But Jay's voice rang loud and clear.

"Er? You in there?" he asked softly, and she could hear the door rattle as he tried the handle. Unfortunately for him, she had locked it out of habit. They were at work, after all, and the 21st employed more than just the two of them.

"Yeah," she replied, raising her voice slightly so he could hear her too as she scrubbed her hair clean off shampoo suds.

She had failed to grab anything but her go bag from her locker, which meant she was stuck with only a change of clothes and some spare toiletries. There was shampoo but no conditioner and the shower gel was practically finished. A small part of her was thankful she had any spare clothes at all, as she knew she was pretty bad with replacing stuff until she desperately needed it.

"I heard what happened. You alright?" Jay asked, his genuine concern loud and clear in his tone.

"I will be once I've gotten half of Chicago's grime off me," she muttered, knowing he would only have caught some of the words as she rotated under the water to do as she had said.

"You know, if you wanted to go for a swim, you could have just said. No need to go to such extreme lengths," he joked after a pause, and Erin could practically see the smirk on his face as she rolled her eyes at no-one.

"Haha," she drawled sarcastically. "You're an ass."

Jay chuckled lightly at her teasing, the familiar sound welcoming in what was shaping up to be a truly crappy day. And it had yet to even hit midday. "You sure you're okay? No cuts or grazes? Those waters are pretty disgusting. God only knows what you might catch from them."

Erin groaned at the thought, shuddering once again though this time it was only 50% due to the temperature. "I'm fine, Jay. Just cold," she reassured him, slightly grateful that on top of everything, a trip to Med wasn't required.

"Alright, then. I'll see you back out there," he replied, tapping the door softly before his retreating footsteps told her she was alone once again.

Unlike their own shower at home, the water never ran cold at the precinct, meaning Erin had a hard time limiting herself to only spending 15 minutes in there. If it was up to her, she'd still be there until it was time to clock out, case and paperwork be damned.

After redressing in her dry pair of jeans and a t-shirt, she pulled her wet hair into a messy bun as she slipped her feet into the boots she had kicked off that morning before changing into something more appropriate for the job. The locker room wasn't the coldest place in the building, but when exiting the steam-warmed shower room, she could feel the drop in temperature drastically. The cold had yet to leave her body, and the lack of layers wasn't helping.

Ransacking her locker, Erin groaned in frustration when she discovered that the cardigan she had tugged on that morning had been the last warm layer she had tucked away at work. Once again, her failure to prepare for the future was her downfall. She even contemplated trying Jay's locker knowing he was always ready for anything, but dismissed that immediately, berating herself at thinking about wearing her boyfriend's clothes at work. That was definitely treading over the personal/professional line.

The usually steady temperature of the bullpen brought goosebumps to her body as she entered, feeling the cold rise out from her bones where she had failed to replace it with the heat of the shower. Only a bath would do that, but a good long soak would have to wait until the end of the day. Until then, she rubbed her hands over her bare arms as she made a beeline for Jay's desk. Because there, right in front of her, was the saving grace to her previously-damned outlook of the day. The zip-up hoodie was just another layer, and, as she argued to herself, meant nothing explicit and definitely nothing personal. No-one would even notice, that she was sure.

A part of her was glad that his hoodie was slung over the back of his chair, meaning she could simply grab it and pull it on without drawing much attention. However, the softness of it couldn't replace the superficial warmth it usually gave off when it had captured his body heat if he had been wearing it. At least it had stopped her from shivering, though.

Spying Jay alone in the break room, she made her way towards him. Some coffee would definitely help beat off the cold from the inside, but she was more curious about the plate he had just picked up from the counter. Her stomach grumbled at the realisation that she hadn't eaten since the small slice of toast early that morning when she had ran out of their apartment without leaving herself enough time for breakfast.

Jay glanced up at her as she entered, eyebrow hitched with a fork pressed against his lips as she pushed up the sleeves of his hoodie a bit so they didn't bunch up at her wrists. "What? My spare cardigan is soaked and I need the layers," she defended casually, coming to stand against the counter next to him.

"I didn't say anything," he mumbled around the bite he had taken, and Erin had to push herself onto her toes to look at the contents of the plate to see what he was eating.

"What's that?"

"Cake. Leftover from Kev's little sister's birthday party. It's seriously good," Jay responded whilst slowly and purposely taking another bite, a smirk on his features as she glared at his antics.

"I missed cake? Today just keeps getting better and better," Erin sighed, slumping against the counter as she lazily reached out for her cup with the full intention of filling it up.

Jay hummed as he tilted his head towards her, shuffling further down to allow her access to the coffee. "I dunno. I'd say taking a swim in the infested waters of Lake Michigan is probably the worst you could have done this morning, so your day is definitely looking up right now."

Scoffing, she replaced the cafetiere back onto the warmer and left her cup by the sink. "Yeah, yeah. Lemme have a bite," she said rather than asked, reaching out for his arm as he lifted the fork to his mouth. Moving out of her reach with an indignant huff, Jay shook his head and ate the bite before she could try again. "C'mon, Jay. If you really loved me, you would share it with me."

Rolling his eyes, Jay shook his head and pointed towards the door with his fork. "I must love you a damn lot 'cause I saved a whole piece for you. It's on your desk."

Following his direction with her eyes, Erin spotted the plate on her desk which had gone completely unobserved by her earlier. Turning back to face him, she offered him a dimpled smile and an innocent look. "You're the best, you know that?"

"Yup, pretty much," he replied without missing a beat, a smirk playing on his lips.

Grabbing her coffee, she made her way back out of the break room with full intention on finishing the cake within the next couple of minutes. And maybe thanking Jay properly once their day was over for both the food and the hoodie.


	2. 67 - I did the dishes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was another prompt from the amazing @justkillingtimewhileiwait . Thank you so much for the encouragement and beta’ing :)

****Jay sighed as he tossed his towel into the hamper of their bathroom, somehow feeling more lethargic after his rather long, hot shower. Their most recent case had been a hard one, involving college student from Canaryville who barely had any familial stability and was now looking at life in prison. It hadn’t been hard for him to make the connection to the kid, knowing that one wrong decision could have landed him in a very similar situation a few years back. God only knew their lives seemed pretty identical otherwise.

He had retreated straight to the shower after they had arrived home with the intention of washing away the case and unloading it from his shoulders. It had either been that or a stiff drink, but the two of them had promised long ago that they would no longer drink their feelings away. So a shower it had been, and though he had been able to accept the outcome of their case, he was still more than ready for the day to be over.

Heading out of the bedroom, Jay couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at the sound of metal clanging as he watched Erin put away the last of the cutlery in the kitchen. Like him, she had changed into her typical bed clothes of lounge shorts and loose vest top, hair tied into a high ponytail and looking completely domestic as she turned around to face him with a damp towel in her hands.

“Hey, I didn’t hear you there,” Erin greeted with a small smile, hanging the towel on the back of one of the stools before absentmindedly flinging a hand back towards the now-empty sink. “I did the dishes.”

“So I see. Why?” Jay asked, intrigued. Erin was not the biggest fan of washing up, especially not after work. She would rather dump it all into the dishwasher or leave it until the morning; both of which irritated him. There had definitely been some kinks, an adjustment period of sorts, when they had first moved in together, but they had now fallen into a pattern. And her doing the washing after coming home late from work didn’t fit anywhere into that.

“I wanted to do something nice for you, so I figured making dinner was out of the question,” she replied lightly with a shrug, causing him to smirk in response. “You had a pretty crappy day; I didn’t want to add having to do house chores to that, too.”

Jay shook his head as he approached her. “Thank you, but you didn’t have to. We both had a long day,” he reminded her, laying his hands on her bare shoulders and rubbing them softly.

“I know. I wanted to. I was the one who rushed us out of here this morning and I know how you like everything neat and tidy before bed. It's not a big deal,” Erin assured him with another shrug, her hands gripping gently at his waist.

“Still, thank you,” he replied sincerely, wondering when he had become so predictable and how he managed to get so lucky to have found such an amazing woman who put up with him and his pedantic ways.

Smiling tenderly, she nodded and squeezed at his hips. “You’re welcome but you don’t have to thank me. This is what I’m here for.”

Jay tilted his head slightly as he questioned, “To do my chores?”

“To help you, to take some of the load off your shoulders, even if you don’t think you need it,” she corrected him with a roll of the eyes when he laughed silently at his own joke.

They had spoken about the case throughout the day, with her reiterating that she was always there for him to talk to whenever he needed her, Voight’s rule about bring their personal relationship to work be damned. He had thanked her and repeated each time that it wasn’t anything she didn’t know, and sometimes it was better to just let sleeping dogs lie. Luckily for him, his partner knew him well enough to know when he was being honest and accepted it at face value.

“Does this make you a housewife now?” Jay teased, sliding his hands down her arms to grasp at her elbows as she scoffed.

“Don’t push it. There’s only space for one housespouse in this relationship, and you claimed that spot years ago,” she informed him with a smirk, giving him a half-hearted shove to the chest which only caused her to stumble into him due to his hold on her.

Jay winced playfully at her words and her actions. “Ouch. This is how you plan on turning my crappy day around? ‘Cause I’ve got to admit, you’re doing a bad job.”

“You’re my househusband, there’s no other way around it,” Erin told him matter-of-factly, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling herself closer to him. Glancing up at him, she waited until he held her to him before adding in a low murmur, “Though, you know, an argument could be made to possibly shorten it to just ‘husband’.”

Shocked by her statement, Jay searched her features for any sign of teasing, and was both elated and nervous when he found none. They had discussed the future and what it might hold for them, both knowing the others’ intentions, but also realising that wanting something and being ready for it were two completely separate things.

Not wanting to jump to conclusions, not when it came to  _them_ , he asked her carefully, “Erin, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that your mom’s ring has spent way too long in your locker, and maybe I’ve recently realised there’s a better place for it,” she told him, breaking into a somewhat self-conscious smile at the end and looking amazingly adorable and beautiful all at once.

Leaning down, Jay pressed his lips to hers and felt his own grin transform hers into the confident one he always associated with her. He had no idea how she knew about his mom’s ring, or that he kept it in his locker at work, but he wasn’t going to question her. Not when she had managed to turn a truly horrible day to the starting of a new chapter for them with one simple statement.

He pulled away with a tug on her hair, chuckling at the sight of her scrunching up her nose at his annoying habit. “I love you.”

“I know,” Erin quipped, leaning back up to kiss him again.


	3. 1 - “Pull over. Let me drive for awhile."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the first of many prompts from the @queseraone. Thank you for all the prompts - I will get them all done eventually, promise!
> 
> Shout out to @justkillingtimewhileiwait for her beta’ing help :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading too! Your feedback on the last one was phenomenal <3 Please let me know what you think again, and if you have any prompts of this list you’d like me to write, just message me!

 

* * *

Jay let out a heavy sigh when he noticed her fighting another yawn, biting on her lips to force it close and inhaling deeply through her nose. The previous time, she had covered it with a hand before turning the radio up to sing along loudly to the tune playing. He knew she was tired, but she was far too stubborn to admit it.

 

They had spent the long weekend relaxing up on Mackinac Island, deciding to drive as Erin found it more comfortable, with the option to stop whenever needed an added bonus. They hadn’t been in a few years, not since their first wedding anniversary, and they had thought it to be fitting to return for their fifth. Now, they were on their way back, and after doing almost nothing for three days, he knew she must be feeling rather lethargic. He knew he was.

 

“Erin, that’s the third time you’ve yawned in the last fifteen minutes,” he stated softly as he reached out to turn the radio down again and then laying a hand over hers on the gear stick to slide his fingers between hers before bringing it up to his lips to press a sweet kiss to the back. “Pull over. Let me drive for awhile.”

 

Arching a brow at him, she smirked teasingly. “You’ve been counting my yawns? Creep.”

 

“When you’re driving down the interstate near sunset, I’ve gotta. Kinda worried you might swerve off the road,” he shot right back, kissing her hand once more before resting them both on his leg.

 

“Have I ever crashed a car before?” Erin asked, causing him to frown.

 

“That’s not the point,” Jay told her exasperatedly.

 

He felt her squeeze his hand as she shook her head and repeated a bit more forcefully, “Have I or have I not?”

 

Sighing, he relented and answered, albeit reluctantly and a bit petulantly. “No, you haven’t.”

 

“And have  _you_  ever crashed a car before?” Erin followed up almost immediately. The innocent tone to her words fooled neither one of them and Jay knew he was playing right into her hands.

 

“Erin-” he tried, only to be cut off before he could even start to think about formulating his defence.

 

“Answer the question, Jay,” she practically sang,

 

“We’re not in court,” he muttered, watching as a smirk pulled at her lips again as she threw him a questioning look that told him he wasn’t getting out of answering. Finding their clasped hands intriguing all of a sudden, he gazed down at them and gently stroked the back of her thumb with his own as he answered. “Once.  _But_  it wasn’t my fault and you know it.”

 

“If we’re counting the ones that weren’t apparently your fault, then it’s twice,” she laughed, causing his head to snap up.

 

“Oh no, that was a small scratch. It doesn’t count,” Jay replied adamantly, slicing his free hand through the air to emphasise his point.

 

“We had to get the car repaired! It was out for three days,” Erin retorted, amusement clearly underlying her words.

 

Scoffing, he shook his head and aimed a finger in her direction. “You told me you were pregnant! That was completely your fault. Who even does that to a guy?” he accused incredulously, not for the first time, and most likely, not the last either.

 

Biting her bottom lip at the slight admonishment, she shrugged cutely with a single shoulder. “I already apologised for that. It wasn’t my fault; it was the hormones,” she said, using the excuse he had gotten use to hearing for the past six months which allowed her to get away with almost anything.

 

If he was honest, she never really needed an excuse for him to allow her to have her way, not that he'd ever tell her that.

 

“You can’t blame everything on the hormones,” Jay remarked dryly, though that was another lie. He had seen almost everyone in their lives fall victim to Erin playing the pregnancy card for when she wanted something, even Hank Voight.

 

“Sure, I can. Like right now,” she told him as she fought off another yawn. Throwing her an unimpressed look, she brushed it off with a smile and pulling their joint hands towards her ever-expanding stomach. The move was made to sublimate him, because he was still amazed at the fact that their child was growing right under their hands at that very moment, and he had a feeling he would never quite get his head around it even after her pregnancy was over. “It’s the hormones, Jay. That’s why I’m yawning. I’m not tired.”

 

Averting his eyes from their hands to her face, he shook his head as he took her in once again. Though he was never one to think his wife looked anything but beautiful, he knew how much being pregnant took a toll on her.

 

“I beg to differ,” he remarked when the small stretch of silence was broken by another sharp inhale by Erin, once again hiding a yawn.

 

“Just let me drive a bit more, until the next rest stop, alright? I’m not going to be able to fit behind the wheel soon, so let me drive while I still can,” she finally reasoned, offering up her words with a small pout and doe-like eyes; a previously tried and tested method of having her way. Except when it came to her health and safety, and now their baby’s too, there wasn’t much that could influence Jay.

 

“Don’t try to guilt trip me, Er. Car seats move,” he replied wryly, rolling his eyes. “And you’re not going to be  _that_  big.”

 

“I’ll cry. Do you want me to cry? Because I can make myself cry,” she warned him, as if he hadn't already experienced the added benefits of her rapidly fluctuating hormone levels. All it took was a quick thought of something sad and she could set herself off. It had not been a joyful day when they had discovered that.

 

“Go ahead. You can’t drive if you’re crying,” Jsy rebuked challengingly, practically gleaming with joy as he watched her deflate at his easy dismissal of her threat.

 

“You’re mean,” she huffed, though there was no real heat behind her words, especially not as another yawn threatened to break through them.

 

“Erin, pull over. You can drive when we hit Chicago,” he tried once again, sliding his hand off of hers to cradle her bump in his palm and rubbing softly with an adoring smile when he felt the pressure of a foot on the other side. “Please, sweetheart? I just want you to rest for a bit.”

 

Erin seemed to contemplate his words, eyes flickering towards him a few times before she groaned in defeat. “ _Urgh_ , fine. Damn hormones. Can’t resist you and your charm,” she added, grumbling, as she hit the turn signal to indicate she was doing as she said and pulled up on the side of the road.

 

“It’s how you got pregnant in the first place,” Jay threw back with a wink, not daring to wait for her to predictably roll her eyes at him to jump out of the car before she changed her mind.


	4. 7 - I dreamt about you last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Number 2 from the list of prompts from @queseraone. She also added ‘because obviously, they dreamed about each other before they got together’.
> 
> Shout out to @justkillingtimewhileiwait again for her beta’ing help :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading too! Your feedback on the last one was phenomenal <3 Please let me know what you think again, and if you have any prompts of this list you’d like me to write, just message me!

 

“What?” Erin asked her partner when her eyes drifted back to him, only to see him gazing at her with a smirk playing on his lips. They curved up on the left corner, looking deliciously sinful as he shook his head and took another sip of his beer.

“Nothing,” he replied, smirk still plastered on his ridiculously handsome face. Even the lighting in the corner of Molly’s where they had settled for the evening couldn’t give Erin a break. They were partners, and that’s all they could be. For now. 

“Jay,” she said pointedly when his amusement at his own private joke began to irritate her. “ _What?_ ”

 “I dreamt about you last night,” he told her nonchalantly, causing her to raise a brow.

“Again? Wow, I should be getting paid for making these guest appearances,” Erin joked, mentally adding this to the tally of four other times he had told her he had dreamt about her. 

They may have been partners but that didn’t mean they were blind to the fact that there was something there between them. Something they had agreed on holding off until ‘one day’, which seemed to be approaching closer and closer every moment they spent together.

“We can talk payment if you're serious. I have no issue with that,” he said suggestively, his amused smirk turning into a salacious one which left Erin no doubt exactly what he was thinking about. It wasn’t that hard to jump to the correct conclusion anyway, not when her own train of thought had brought her to the same place.

“Oh, I'm sure you don't,” she teased, drinking her own beer as she waited for him to explain his dream to her. So far, they had all ended the same way; with Jay waking up before they got to the ‘good stuff’, as he put it.

Or so he always said. There was a small part of her which also doubted that his dreams would always end before they succumbed to their desires, and it was simply his way of keeping things friendly between them, and possibly not embarrass her, by going into the finer details. But the scenarios he did share were always entertaining, and Erin was starting to enjoy these stories more than she probably should. 

When it became clear he wasn’t going to offer up his dream for her to share, she leaned forward with her arms on the table and prompted him. “So? What was it this time? Where was it this time?”

“My apartment,” Jay told her after swallowing a mouthful of his drink. “You turned up in a long trench coat-”

“Classy, Halstead,” she interrupted him with a short laugh, earning herself a half-hearted exasperated look.

“Let me finish. Trust me, you'll love it,” he assured her before leaning forward and copying her stance so he could drop his voice as he explained the finer details of his dream. “So you’re at my door and I invite you in, naturally. You take off your coat and underneath you have this dress. It's a Scrabble board dress.”

“What?” she asked in surprised, settling back against her chair and drawing her brows together as she stared him down. “Shut up! You're messing with me now.”

“No, I'm serious. It was green with a star in the middle square which was, you know, strategically placed,” he explained, chuckling when she laughed at his description and then waved a hand for him to continue. “Anyway, next thing I know, you take the dress off and we’re playing Scrabble on my living room floor.”

Arms back on the table so she was as close to him as was socially acceptable, though probably not platonically, she asked him, “Literally or figuratively?”

“Literally,” Jay stated, grinning when he must have noticed the anticipation in her eyes at the more risque details being halted for the moment.

Clearing her throat, Erin let her beer cool her down quickly before questioning as casually as she could, “Oh. What was I wearing underneath?”

“I don't know. I wasn't paying attention,” Jay shrugged, and she shot him an incredulous look at his lame answer. “What?! I can't control what I do in my dreams. Trust me, real life Jay would have taken in every single detail.”

Erin laughed sincerely at his words, appreciating his blatant honesty. “Oh, I bet you’re good with the details,” she replied, the double entendre not lost on either of them.

“Damn straight,” he confirmed, smirking once again. She shook his head at his confidence, and had it been any other man, she would have put it down to an over inflated ego. But not Jay. She had no doubt Jay knew things about her that even she didn’t, all because of the way he paid the utmost attention to her. She did the same with him.

And one day, when it finally turned into their  _one day_ , it was all going to come into great use. But until then, she would have to live vicariously through Jay’s dreams.

“Alright, so then what?” she pushed, breaking the comfortable silence they had fallen into, wanting to know where it was in his apartment they would be christening first in this dream, even if she would never know the exact details of anything else.

Jay scoffed and shook his hard, looking taken aback by her question. “What do you mean, ‘then what’? That’s it.”

Sitting up straight, Erin shot him a confused look. “That's it? We played, literally played, Scrabble, the board game? Whilst I was, most probably, in my underwear?” she repeated, just to clarify exactly what his dream was about which had had him smirking at her like an idiot only a few minutes earlier.

“Yup,” he answered.

“Well that's a bit of a letdown, huh?” she sighed, leaning back in her chair and grabbing her beer once again.

“Not really,” Jay told her coolly, copying her actions. There was a slight pause as he picked at the label of his bottle with his thumbnail, giving it far more attention than was needed, before peering up at her through his lashes with a small shrug. “Guess it just shows it's not just about the sex for me.”


	5. 16 - It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another from the list of prompts from queseraone. She also added to the prompt: 'because there are so many different reasons (angsty! fluffy! smutty!) I can imagine one of them waking up the other'. I obviously decided to go with fluff cos that's just how I roll. Also requested by iamjustafollower . Thank you!
> 
> Huge thanks to justkillingtimewhileiwait again for her beta'ing help :) Thank you to everyone who is reading too, and all of the feedback! Please let me know what you think again, and if you have any prompts off the list on my tumblr you'd like me to write, just message me!

He awoke immediately at the loud thud that resonated throughout his apartment in the middle of the night, followed by the sound of metal scraping against metal and a door handle rattling as someone struggled to open it. Flicking on the light on his bedside table, he simultaneously grabbed his gun from the drawer underneath, as no-one could ever be sure in Chicago and his place had already been broken into once before. Silently, Jay slipped out of bed and approached the hallway.

The front door creaked open slowly, light from the corridor offering him a silhouette of his guest before he managed to reach for the small lamp in the living. "Erin?" he asked, though he was sure he could recognise her form anywhere, anyplace, no matter what.

"Shhhh," she hushed him, holding a finger to her lips as she clumsily placed her small purse onto the floor whilst closing the door. She teetered in her heels, and from the healthy pink flush on her cheeks, Jay had no doubt she had a great time out with her girlfriends.

Tucking his gun into the back of his sweatpants, he approached her and held her steady by the elbow as she struggled to take off her shoes. "You're the one making all the noise," he reminded her with a small smile, crouching down to help her out of her heels when her fingers slipped against the small buckle repeatedly.

Keeping her balance with a hand on his bare shoulder, she sighed in both content as he gently put her feet onto the cold floor, and in realisation at what she had done. "Shit. I didn't want to wake you!"

"So you practically attacked my front door at 1 in the morning?" he asked skeptically, standing up straight. Both without shoes, she was a good foot shorter than him, head tilted back to look at him from her position right in front of him, and made her seem even more adorable as she pouted slightly at his words.

"It was hard to open," Erin huffed, peering innocently up at him through her mascara-slicked eyelashes.

Jay chuckled and took her in appreciatively as she started to smile back at him. "You're drunk."

"A little," she replied with a nod, though he was fairly certain it was less likely 'a little', and more like having to hear her complain in the morning about how she would never go out drinking with her friends ever again. He'd listen dutifully with a cup of coffee, some water and an aspirin.

"More than a little," he voiced, looping an arm around her waist when she began to stumble backwards without moving an inch somehow. "C'mon, let's get you to bed."

Erin trailed a hand down his chest, pressing roughly against his stomach as she stepped into him. "So you can have your wicked way with me?" she asked, voice low and husky, sending sparks of pleasure down his spine and right to his groin. It took everything within him, and the thoughts of some very unsexy images, to keep himself from agreeing with her.

"So you can sleep," he countered after a minute, though it was unlikely she would have noticed the time lapse.

Throwing her head back, she let out a moan of frustration which definitely did not help his situation. "But drunk sex is always fun."

"Yeah, when we're both drunk," Jay told her. He didn't have to be reminded about all the times they had stumbled into one of their places, if even that a couple of times, drunk or halfway there and having some of the best, most thrilling sex of their lives.

Wrapping a hand around her hip, he managed to maneuver Erin away from his front and into his side, guiding her towards his bathroom where he urged her onto the counter so he could help her get cleaned up. They worked quietly as he pulled out a pack of makeup wipes from her toiletry bag, assisting her with a smirk to pull out just the one.

"I like drunk Jay more," she muttered from under the floral scented cloth

"I think drunk Jay likes drunk Erin more, too," he retorted, taking the wipe from her hand when she was done and turning to toss it into the bin. He wasn't sure if her foot was simply well placed or if she got lucky, but he stumbled slightly as she kicked him gently in the ass before sliding off the counter. "Hey! I was kidding. I like you and every side of you," Jay laughed, following her now-steady steps towards his room. "Mostly."

Erin rolled her eyes at him as she perched on his bed to shimmy out of her tight jeans. "I'll take it, even if you won't sleep with me. I knew you wouldn't," she told him matter-of-factly.

Returning his gun back to his drawer, Jay grabbed a spare shirt for her to sleep in and helped her swap it for the tight, red top she currently had on. "It's because I'm such a gentleman," he reminded her, going back to the conversation they had had back when he was in need of a place to crash and had ended up sleeping on her couch for three nights.

"Sure," she said wryly once she wriggled the shirt into place, leaving Jay to pick up her discarded clothes and throwing them into the laundry hamper in the corner of his room.

He turned back just in time to see her crawling on her hands and knees towards the top of the bed, his top riding up to give him the perfect view of her round backside and the black underwear she wore. He might be too much of a gentleman to take advantage of her when she was in her drunken state whilst he was stone cold sober, but that didn't mean he wasn't already planning on getting her out of the lace the first chance he got in the morning. Sex was a great cure for many ailments, hangovers included.

Climbing into what was now 'his' side of the bed, Jay switched off the lamp and opened his arm to allow Erin to cuddle up to him. Head on his chest with an arm wrapped tightly around his waist, he felt her breath warm his skin as she let out a sorrowful sigh. "I really didn't mean to wake you. I just wanted to see you and sleep next to you," she muttered apologetically into the darkness of the room. "I missed you."

Pressing his lips to the top of her head, he squeezed her shoulders to bring her closer. "It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway," he said, hoping in her current state that she wouldn't call him out on the blatant lie. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel guilty when he was pretty satisfied with what had transpired. His hopes vanished with a quick shift in the sheets as she dug her chin into his shoulder to narrow her eyes at him. "What?"

"Aren't you gonna tell me you missed me too?" she asked petulantly, her eyes wide with her lips pouting ever so slightly once again.

Laughing quietly, Jay leaned in and kissed her attitude away. "How about you just assume that if we're apart, I'm missing you, alright?"

"Alright," Erin replied, happy with his answer as she settled down against him once again. "'Night, Jay."

"Goodnight, sweetheart," he sighed, burying his nose in her hair to inhale the sweet scent that was uniquely her, grateful it would also be the first thing he'd smell in the morning too. They might have had the next day off, but no-one appreciated being woken up at 1am without a good reason. Fortunately, Erin was the best reason.


	6. 22- It's not heavy. I'm stronger than I look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another from the list of prompts from @queseraone. This list is amazing, btw :)
> 
> Massive thanks to @justkillingtimewhileiwait again for her beta’ing help :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading too, and all of the feedback! <3 Please let me know what you think again, and if you have any prompts off the list on my tumblr you’d like me to write, just message me!

Wiping the back of her wrist across her forehead, Erin pushed the tendrils of hair that had fallen out of her haphazardly formed bun out of her face and let out a tiresome breath. Her- their living room was still covered in cardboard, pieces of plastic and white protective styrofoam despite her best efforts in cleaning it up for the past hour. At least the dust had been swept away, and the furniture was now arranged as she liked it. It was definitely better, and definitely decent enough that she didn’t feel complete panic soar through her when she heard the key in the door.

 

“Erin?” Jay called out, knocking out of habit when the door didn’t give way even after he unlocked it.

 

“Hold on a second,” she replied, doing a quick 360 where she stood before sighing and accepting that there was no way to make it look any better without more time. Shrugging to herself, she wiped her hands down her jeans whilst approaching the front door. Removing the security chain she had only locked to ensure Jay couldn’t enter before she was ready, she opened the door only a fraction of the way. “Hey!”

 

He arched a brow in her direction, eyeing her from head to toe and back again as she stood in the doorway and refused him entry. “What's going on? Why’s the chain on?”

 

“‘Cause it's Chicago and I'm home alone?” she replied with a dimpled smile.

 

“Never in the 5 years we've known each other has that ever bothered you before,” Jay countered in amusement, to which she had no reply. Silence stretched between them for a beat before he tilted his head towards the door she still held to shield the interior of their apartment from him. “Erin. Can I come in?”

 

“Um,” she mumbled, gnawing on her bottom lip as she threw a look over her shoulder to take survey how bad it was.

 

“Don't tell me you've got another guy in there,” he joked when she failed to give him a more definite response.

 

“No, of course not. He climbed down the fire escape,” Erin shot back with a smirk to match his, nodding and opening the door a little bit wider so she could push herself fully into the gap it created to explain herself first. “Okay look, your brother was meant to message me when you left so I didn't have a timeframe, alright? So it's a bit of a mess but I will clean it up. I was halfway there.”

 

“If you say so,” Jay said wryly, both them knowing that now he was home, it would mainly be him doing the cleaning.

 

“I do,” Erin told him nonetheless. Taking a steadying breath, she straightened and opened the door to allow him in. He kept his eyes on her as he entered, mirth still playing on his features even as she redirected his gaze towards the rear wall of their living room. “Happy birthday.”

 

Joining him after closing the door behind her, she watched with slight apprehension as he took in the brand new TV that was now decorating the wall which had previously been exclusively reserved for her posters. To say he was shocked was an understatement, but the incredulous laugh that left his lips a moment later was enough to assure her that he was impressed.

 

“Whoa. I mean- wow. Seriously?” Jay asked in awe-filled disbelief, pointing towards the TV and gazing at her with a questioning look as if he might be imagining the rather large piece of equipment, as well as the mess it had created.

 

Erin laughed and nodded, adding pointedly, “Yup. I even got your guy to come and install it.”

 

She had to recruit the help of Will to lie to his brother and ask if he knew anyone who could potentially help set up a new stereo system in his apartment for Erin to get the name and number of Jay’s installation artiste. She had never seen the issue with cables, but she had to admit that it looked pretty neat and tidy with the wiring all hidden away. As if the TV simply hovered on the wall by itself. It also left space for making more use of the wall for some time in the future.

 

“Wait, so you did have another guy here?” he asked, turning to face her.

 

“Only for, like, an hour. You know I prefer a guy who can go a bit longer than that,” she teased, stepping up to him to nudge him gently with her shoulder.

 

“Damn straight,” he muttered, leaning down to press his lips to hers for a chaste kiss. “This is amazing, Er. But you really didn't have to.”

 

Erin smiled at his sentiment and shook her head, knowing this was exactly what he was going to say. They had been living together for nearly 8 months now, and the topic of getting a new TV as Jay had initially mentioned when he had first moved in had never been brought up again, and she knew it had everything to do with her unenthusiastic reaction. However, with his birthday approaching, she had taken the time to revisit the idea.

 

It wasn't that she had been against it but simply that back then, making such a huge change seemed daunting when she was still getting used to the fact they were moving in together. She had never lived with a boyfriend before and had had no idea what it would be like, especially with someone who she saw all day at work too. But the past 8 months had been amazing, and having him there made it all the better.

 

He had moved in with ease, not having much stuff he was attached to that needed bringing over. The fact Jay had stayed over at her place often enough before they had made the official step only made it easier. He hadn’t demanded much of her either, not batting an eyelid at the mess she made in their bathroom or hardly ever doing the grocery shop, or even at the added pillows she always felt she needed in their bed to sleep. It was all rather unconventional; she knew that living together meant they had to it both make sacrifices and come to a compromise, but Erin could swear her life hadn't changed at all since Jay had moved in. Not unless it was for the better.

 

So when she had remembered that the one comment he had made about changing her place when he had moved in was her TV, she had thought long and hard before deciding that maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea ever. The living area could do with a sprucing up, and what better way than with some new tech and a rearrangement.

 

“I wanted to. It's a pretty awesome TV, if I do say so myself. I went to great lengths to research this, Jay. So just appreciate it,” Erin told him jokingly, not wanting him to know the hours she had actually put into finding the perfect TV for them.

 

She knew he had wanted a 60-inch, but after the Googling, measuring and gathering expert advice, she had figured they had the space for anything up to 68-inches, which is what she eventually went for. It was made for both sports and movies, as well as having a dedicated Netflix button on the control which she knew had helped sway her.

 

“Oh, I definitely appreciate it,” he assured her, dropping another kiss to her lips. “When did you even get time to research it?”

 

“Online, mainly. Why do you think I've been letting you drive lately?” she stated, laughing silently when he pulled away, looking taken aback as if he was finally piecing it all together.

 

“Because you love me?” Jay questioned, to which she rolled her eyes. “Does this mean I can't drive anymore?”

 

“We’ll discuss it,” she lied, the two of them both knowing that Erin would be behind the wheel when they went back to work the next day, using the fact she had just bought him a new TV as another reason why she got to drive.

 

“You even moved your posters,” he pointed out, waving a hand towards where the two posters which once stood where the TV was now resting in the corner of the room. “And the couch. By yourself?”

 

“I only had to swivel it around,” Erin dismissed lightly with a shrug, scoffing when he clearly didn’t believe her. Sure, it had taken the two of them to get it into the apartment, but that was only because they had floors to climb. “It's not heavy. I’m stronger than I look.”

 

“Trust me, I know that,” Jay commented with a smirk over his shoulder as he moved to stand in front of the TV, peering around it. He skimmed his fingers around the bottom corners, grinning at her in excitement when he was clearly satisfied with the installation job. “Have you switched it on?”

 

“Not properly. Wanted you to have the honours,” she told him, plucking the remote control up from where she had thrown it onto the couch and slipping it into his hand when he approached her.

 

Jay eyed the mess around them, and she could see the internal debate going on in his head as he thought about what to do. They both knew that if they settled in to enjoy the TV, there was no way they would be getting up again until their bodies told them they needed food, drink or each other.

 

“We can clean this up later,” he finally decided, much to her surprise but also to her delight, and tugged her down onto the couch with him. “C’mon, let's christen this TV.”


	7. 22- Drive Safely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another from the list of prompts from @queseraone. I’m loving all these prompts and this was another fun one to write.
> 
> Huge thanks to @justkillingtimewhileiwait again for her beta’ing help :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading too, and all of the feedbak! <3 Please let me know what you think again, and if you have any prompts off the list on my tumblr you’d like me to write, just message me!

“Do you really have to go?” Erin pouted, pushing up onto her elbows as he glanced up from where he was buckling up his belt. Jay had to admit the sight of her half naked in their bed, hair tousled from sleep and his fingers, was enough to give him a momentary pause. “Just stay here with me, all warm and cosy. I'll even get naked.”

 

Biting back a groan, he shook his head and purposefully turned away to distract himself with grabbing a shirt before she distracted him enough to lure him back into bed. “Tempting, very tempting. But then you'll be paying off this place all by yourself ‘cause I have no doubt Voight will fire me for not turning up to work”

 

“I was paying it off myself before you moved in. You could live up to your househusbandly duties, earn your keep and all that,” she reminded him as he laughed at her use of his own nickname for himself. “C’mon, five more minutes? At least let the snowstorm pass.”

 

Jay sighed and peered out of the window where the skies were so grey, the rising sun could barely shine through. “I don't think it's going to pass all day,” he murmured as he strode over to close the curtains, plunging the bedroom into near darkness before turning back to approach the bed. “Enjoy your snow day,” he whispered against her lips, envious of her day off when she would be his only salvation of what was looking to be a horrible day.

 

Erin lifted a hand to his cheek when he pulled back, catching his eyes to bore into them earnestly. “Drive safely. Please?”

 

“I always do,” he assured her, pressing one final kiss to her lips before tearing himself away for the day.

 

...

 

Jay sighed heavily once again, throwing his bag onto the bench between them with a bit more effort than was needed and huffing as he did up the buttons of his uniform shirt. “What's the point in doing overtime if we’re partnered with other cops?” he grumbled, making his annoyance evident for the fifth time since they were handed their assignments only ten minutes earlier. She had to physically drag him away by the arm before he let their desk sergeant know his thoughts and got himself suspended. Or worse, paired up with a rookie with a penchant for recklessness. “At least before we were being paid to spend our evenings together.”

 

Closing her locker, Erin leaned against it as she turned to face him, dressed in her own blues. ”A dollar a minute, that's all you've got to think about, alright?”

 

“I’d get the same if I were with you,” he countered dryly, arranging his bag back into his locker with care even through his irritation, followed by slamming it close.

 

“Platt made it clear; after what happened with Roman and Burgess, no more patrol partners who are more than just partners,” Erin reminded him pointedly, keeping the fact that she kind of agreed with Platt to herself. Not that she wouldn’t want to spend the rest of their evening together, but with all the bad press and coverage the Chicago PD had been receiving lately, and with public tension rising in certain neighbourhoods, she couldn’t blame the sergeant for imposing the new rule. Erin was just glad their own boss hadn’t following suit.

 

“But we’re much more professional than them,” he stated adamantly as he copied her stance, to which Erin could only raise a challenging eyebrow, amusement colouring her features as he rectified himself. “Most of the time.”

 

“Look, it's only 5 hours. Then we can head home _together_ , share our stories of the night _together_ , and fall into bed _together_. It's just 5 hours, babe,” she informed him softly, rounding the bench and stopping in front of him to grasp gently at his waist. “I think you might be getting a little attached,” she accused him teasingly.

 

“Yeah, years ago,” Jay agreed without missing a beat, though she could feel him relax against her as he wrap his arms around her shoulders. “I don't like you out there with someone else watching your back. I barely like it when it's one of our own, let alone a random officer.”

 

“Hey, it'll be fine. You think I like having someone else watch yours?” Erin asked rhetorically, melting into him in the privacy of the currently empty locker room and reaching up to kiss him. “5 hours.”

 

“I guess. At least I'll get to drive for a bit,” he reasoned as their hands fell away from each other, settling back into their professional selves. “Silver linings.”

 

“Don't get any funny ideas,” she told him dramatically, patting him on the chest. “Drive safely.”

 

“You, too,” he replied, earning himself an incredulous look over her shoulder as she left the locker room.

 

…

 

Erin and Jay shared a look of astonishment when Voight threw the latter the keys to his car, telling him he would meet him downstairs in five minutes. The rest of the team had already headed out on various tasks, with Erin being left behind to finish going through the piles of case files they had dug up. It hadn’t been a choice but rather the forfeit of having managed to get out of it for the last 8 months on all the cases they’ve had. The boys had kept track, apparently.

 

“Wow, what did you do to earn this privilege? Hank doesn't even let _me_ drive when we ride together,” Erin asked in a stage whisper, eyes still on their boss’ retreating form even as she turned her body towards her partner.

 

“Maybe he's planning something. No way he would let me drive out of the kindness of his own heart. He doesn't even _have_ one when it comes to me,” Jay muttered back in the same tone as he too watched Voight leave. She tore her eyes away to glance up at him; the sight of his furrowed brow and tight jaw causing her to laugh.

 

“Jay,” she simply said to claim his attention, taking advantage of the empty bullpen to lay a hand on his chest to reassure him. “Just enjoy it, alright?”

 

“I'm a detective. It's literally my job to question everything,” he retorted with a huff. “If something happens and I don't come back-”

 

“Don't. It's not funny,” she reprimanded with a small forceful shove to his shoulder that did nothing to deter Jay from his train of thoughts.

 

“I'm just saying, this here is a moment you need to remember. Might be the key to piece it all together,” he added pointedly, the slight humour underlying his words suggesting that he didn’t entirely believe he was in any real trouble with Voight. At least, no more than he usually was.

 

“Jay, you're going to be fine. The only danger today is your driving,” Erin teased with a smirk that transformed into a full on grin when he let out an exasperated sigh.

 

“I really don't know where you get this notion I'm a shitty driver from, especially considering you barely let me drive,” he argued, narrowing his eyes at her accusingly.

 

“I never said you're a _bad_ driver. Just not as good as me. And as Hank taught me to drive, he's going to think the same,” she reminded him, purposely adding more fuel to the fire of Jay’s speculations. Patting his chest, she made her way to her desk where her never-ending pile of files awaited. “Enjoy. Drive safely.”

 


	8. 32 - It looks good on you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another prompt from the list from queseraone.
> 
> Huge thanks to justkillingtimewhileiwait again for her beta'ing help :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading too, and all of the feedback! Please let me know what you think again, and if you have any prompts off the list on my tumblr you'd like me to write, just message me!

"Why do you always come around wearing a goddamn pantsuit?" Jay all but growled against Erin's lips as he pushed her further towards his room, fingers making quick work of her blazer buttons.

"Why? Don't you like it?" she teased, gasping when he pressed her up against the doorway to the bedroom, pinned by his hips against her own as a hand travelled to her wrists to hold them both above her head.

"Yeah, no, that's  _exactly_  how I feel about it," he gritted out, his free arm wrapping around her waist to bring her even closer to him so there was no way Erin could ever doubt how he felt about her and her pantsuit.

"If you like this," she breathed as Jay began to trail his lips down her neck, paying special attention to the secret spot that turned her on without effort, which he had figured out during their first night together. "Then you'll  _love_  what I have on underneath."

Pulling back slightly, Erin smiled seductively as she watched his eyes cloud over with pure lust, searching her own before dipping down to where she knew he could see the outline of the black lace from her open blouse. His eyes dragged back up to hers a moment later, still glimmering with want as he dropped her wrist and found her leg instead.

"Okay, bed. Now," was all Jay managed to say before lifting her into his arms and taking her there himself.

...

"You know," Erin began slowly, softly, in the dim lighting of his bedroom. Jay hummed noncommittally to indicate that he had heard her; the sound vibrating through his chest and to her cheek where she rested upon him, his hand ghosting over her bare back in a repeated motion which was soon going to soothe her to sleep. "It costs money to have my suits dry cleaned."

Jay laughed silently, his gaze wandering away from the beauty in his arms to the mess they had made in the hurry to get the other undressed. Her clothes laid haphazardly mixed with his own across his floor, with only her underwear having been carefully deposited off the side of the bed after he had tenderly peeled them off her when the waiting had gotten too much.

"Guess it's a good thing you've moved up in the world then, huh?" he teased, smirking when she tilted her head up to shoot him a faux-glare.

"I might have to start getting changed before I head over here. Can't have you ruining all my decent clothes," she told him, raising a brow challengingly and grinning in triumph when he scowled.

"Don't you dare," Jay muttered, stopping his in caresses for a moment to squeeze her gently as he leaned down to brush his lips over her forehead. It was a sweet and loving gesture, something Erin had noticed he had gradually started doing more and more often over the past weeks together. She had also noticed the way her stomach flipped and her heart swelled at the motion; the complete opposite she thought she would ever feel with someone who she was in a casual relationship with.

Though Erin knew they were both kidding themselves with naming their relationship anything but, and 'casual' fit nowhere near it either. The moment they had crossed the line and kissed was the moment they threw everything, and everyone for that matter, else out of the window. They spent practically every night together, sleeping together in every sense of the phrase. It wasn't something Erin was used to, falling asleep and waking up next to the same man, day in and day out, but she was finding it a hard habit to break. There was no going back from being with Jay, and she was pretty sure she wouldn't want to either.

"I need to stop doing the walk of shame every morning in my wrinkled clothes, Jay. I'm starting to worry Nadia might think I'm being overworked," she joked, biting her bottom lip as she added, "Or sleeping with my new boss."

Jay huffed at her insinuation, tilting his head up when she began to shift against him so she could press a kiss to the hollow of is throat and work her way up his jawline lazily. "Then leave some clothes here. You can change before you leave."

"Will  _you_ do my dry cleaning for me?" Erin asked, murmuring the words straight into his ear, grinning in delight as she watched his eyes flutter close when she pushed herself up over him to straddle his body, his hand never leaving the warmth of her back.

"Yeah, sure. Can't be that hard, right?" he eventually replied, not one to back down from a verbal spar contest against her.

Laughing, she laid her hands on either side of his head on his pillow, leaning down until her nose brushed against his to coerce him to open his eyes once again. "Anything to keep getting into my pants, right?"

"Pant _suit_. Anything to keep getting into your pantsuit," Jay corrected her in amusement, brushing back her hair with a hand whilst his other kept her close to him.

"Shut up," Erin laughed, shaking her head so her mouth brushed against his tantalisingly with every movement.

"Make me," he retorted, and it was all the permission she needed to passionately capture his lips with her own.

...

"I hope you don't mind," Erin called out as she stepped out of his bedroom the next morning, causing Jay to turn from where he was currently pouring them both coffee to go with the bagels he had toasted. "I found an alternative to going home in my wrinkled clothes."

"Nope, definitely do not mind. Actually, I think I found my new favourite outfit," he replied after a brief pause as he took in the sight of her dressed in one of his black henleys, tucked into the waist of her pants. The sleeves were rolled up to mid-forearm, and though she padded into the kitchen barefoot, he was pretty sure she would be rocking the unconventional outfit with her heels on once she slipped them on.

Clearing his throat, he took a sip of his coffee to help get his voice back, and his mind off the single-track it always seemed to be on these days; to get her out of her clothes. Or rather,  _his_  clothes, today.

"It looks good on you," he finally told her, offering her the cup he had prepared for her.

Erin smiled, both at his words and the coffee. "More than the pantsuit?"

"No contest," Jay assured her without missing a beat, matching her smile with one of his own.


	9. 37 - Can I kiss you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @queseraone for this prompt again and a huge thanks to @justkillingtimewhileiwait again for her beta’ing help :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading too, and all of the feedback! <3 Please let me know what you think again, and if you have any prompts off this list you’d like me to write, just message me!
> 
>  

 

The telltale clicking of stiletto heels against the wooden flooring of Erin's apartment alerted him to her approaching the door from the other side and opening it for him only a few seconds after he had knocked. Dressed in a classic ' _little black dress'_ , hair tied back in a high ponytail with slightly more makeup than he had ever seen her wear, Jay couldn't fight the instinct to trail his eyes from top to bottom and back again.

"Damn, Erin," Jay commented when he took her in, smirking when she rolled her eyes at his imprudent words and walked away. That was another sight he had no control over gazing at, and he was pretty sure he was giving up on his self-control for the night there and then. "I mean, you look beautiful."

Erin smiled at his compliment as she turned to face him again, picking up the last of what she would need for the high school reunion they were attending. "You don't scrub up too bad either."

"Told you I had nice suits," he retorted with a boyish smile, tilting his head slightly which told her that he was contemplating something.

"What?" she asked when she stopped in front of him but he had yet to speak.

 

* * *

 

"We're meant to be engaged, right?" Jay asked, reminding her of the numerous conversations they had had about the reunion. At her minuscule nod, he grinned lopsidedly. "So, can I kiss you?"

Shaking her head, Erin laughed under her breath and held a hand out to him. "Why don't we settle for holding hands?"

Still smiling, he licked his lips and nodded concededly whilst taking her hand in his and looping it through the crook of his arm. "Good enough for now."

...

Jay downed the rest of his bourbon as he finally made his decision. Standing by the open bar at the Chicago PD's Commissioner's Ball, he had swept his eyes over the bustling crowd numerous times to seem inconspicuous as he kept a lookout for his partner. His partner who was usually more than just his partner at this time every evening. But not tonight, not when the two of them along with the rest of the team were all dressed up to the nines to please the man who allowed them to keep the unit running. Voight included.

Leaving his empty tumbler on the bartop, he strode over to where Erin had finally managed to excuse herself from one person or another, meeting her eyes and making sure his gaze didn't falter as she raised a casual eyebrow at his confident tread.

"May I have this dance?" he asked, holding out a hand. Her eyes flittered down before reaching his once again, a smile curving upon her painted pink lips as she slipped her hand into his proffered one.

"My, my, what a gentleman you've become," she remarked teasingly as he led her to the busy dance floor.

"Hey, I can be a gentleman!" Jay insisted, a semblance of a pout forming on his features when she shot him a challenging look. Sighing as they settled into the slow rhythm of the music, he rectified himself. "Just, you know, when the occasion calls for it."

"Sure," Erin said in amusement, the hand still in his own squeezing gently. Her other laid almost-platonically on his shoulder, whilst she could feel his on the small of her back, burning red hot through the silky material of her dress. "Don't start getting too handsy now, Halstead," she warned quietly.

She watched as he surveyed the area around them, following his actions out of practice. When he had decided he had found what he had been looking for, or rather not found by the way he relaxed under her touch, she gazed at him questioningly when he pulled her slightly closer. "Can I kiss you?"

"I dunno; do you want to end the night with a broken jaw and unemployed?" she replied without missing a beat, a single dimple creating a look of innocence.

"Yeah, fair enough," Jay all but sighed, Erin suppressing a shudder when he purposefully created an inch more of space between them. "Later?"

"Later," she assured him, knowing it would have to be enough for them then.

...

Jay wasn't sure what she thought of him and his reflexes, or that he wouldn't catch her immediately when she crept into their kitchen and snuck a hand into the serving dish that held the roast potatoes he had just taken out of the oven. Sure, the sound of the football in the background helped dampen the sound, as did the casual conversation between Will and Voight; their guests for Thanksgiving. A meal he had been hell bent on perfecting after Erin had thrown him a somewhat sceptical look when he had casually mentioned he could cook a pretty damn good turkey with all the trimmings if only he ever had the time and the opportunity. Something he now felt like he had to prove to them all

Gripping her wrist before she could even grab onto a potato and without turning away from the gravy he was currently working on, he pulled her hand out and laid it flat against the cold granite countertop. "Nope, sorry. You can wait until dinner like the rest of us."

"Please?" Erin pleaded with a pout, eyes wide for emphasis. Jay merely shook his head after taking a quick glance at her, not faltering at her cute look. " _Please?_ "

"No," he stated emphatically, leaving no room for argument. Besides, he was almost done and in order to have it all perfect, he wasn't going to let her have a roast potato without the rest of the dish.

She sighed heavily but adhered to his answer, shuffling closer to lean against the counter right next to him and gazing up. "You know what I'm thankful for?" she began in a low voice, deep and husky which he knew was going to lead them somewhere unconventional. "For a wonderful fiancé who is as talented in the kitchen as in the bedroom-"

Jay snapped to attention at her words, throwing a worried look over his shoulder towards the living room before turned back to the woman by his side, who now sported a rather salacious smirk. " _Shhh_ , Erin! Seriously?"

"No-one's listening," she pointed out with a shrug, seemingly taking pity on him and his rapidly building fear of being shot dead in his own apartment when she reached out to place a comforting hand on his arm. "As I was saying, I am thankful for you and everything you do for me."

At her sincere tone, he relaxed and switched off the stove. "I couldn't ask for a better partner," he replied, merely brushing his lips over hers before turning back to the job at hand. Erin didn't miss the quick glance he took towards their guests; a smile breaking out on her features at her big, bad, kickass, ex-Ranger partner worrying about being openly affection at home.

"Jay," she mock-whispered gently, trailing her hand down to his elbow to grip it lightly as she leaned in to press up against his side. "No-one's looking. Plus, you know, we're engaged. I think they know we're together now."

"I'm busy and this is the kitchen. There's food," he pointed out lamely, though he had yet to break away from her.

"We've done a lot worse in-" she began matter-of-factly, feeling him tense up against her at her insinuation.

Shaking his head once, he caught her eyes. Despite the heat behind them, clearly remembering the memories of what he did not want to right then, the tight press of his lips told her there was a chance she would have to live without spontaneous can't-wait-to-get-to-the-bedroom sex if she carried on. "Don't."

"Can I at least kiss you?" she asked sweetly, resting her chin on his shoulder so her lips brushed the words into his jaw.

This time, Jay smiled and complied. Turning to face her, he pecked her mouth, holding steady for a couple of seconds and retreating before she could even get her lips to move. "Happy?"

"Yeah, so romantic," she said dryly, biting back her own smile when she saw one break out on his as he somewhat reluctantly pulled away from her to dish up the last of the components that would create their dinner.

"I'll make it up to you," he insisted, reaching up for a utensil in the overhead cupboards. Erin wasn't quite sure what was up there exactly, and considering the attention she would rather pay to his firm back muscles stretching tight against his top, she still had no idea.

Clearing her throat, she backtracked out of the kitchen before she decided to screw decorum and screwed something else entirely. "I'm holding you to that."

Jay chuckled, turning just in time to see her innocently push a whole roasted baby potato into her mouth. "Erin!"


	10. 47 - Did you get my letter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to quesera1 for this prompt again and a huge thanks to justkillingtimewhileiwait again for her beta'ing help :)
> 
> So quesera1 also added that this letter could have been sent when he moved out, so this is set after that. I've kinda skipped over (read: erased) the storyline about Abby, and will focus more on Jay's PTSD and him dealing with it, and their relationship.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading too, and all of the feedback! 3 Please let me know what you think again, and if you have any prompts off the list on my tumblr page (same username) you'd like me to write, just message me!

Erin cursed under her breath as she finally pulled up in front of the café she had agreed to meet Jay for breakfast, almost 20 minutes late. She had sent him a message explaining she was on her way, but considering the slightly unconventional status of their relationship right then, she hadn't wanted to seem like spending time together outside of work was a hardship for her.

"Hey," she greeted him when she approached the table he had grabbed for them, pressing her lips to his cheek and then his own briefly. It was casual yet loving; a comfortable middle for them both. Sliding into the chair opposite him, she shrugged off her light jacket and hung it over the back. "Sorry I'm late. I went for a run this morning and lost track of time."

Jay raised a brow at her explanation, putting down the cup of coffee he had taken a sip from. " _You_  went for a run? On a Sunday morning?"

"Had nothing better to do," she retorted, challenging his incredulous tone with a defiant one of her own.

There was no weight behind it, no accusation or guilt being thrown towards the man in front of her who use to keep her busy with  _many_  different and better things to do on a Sunday morning. Something they had slowly started to indulge in once again, but not often enough that Erin could say they were back to where they had once been before Jay's past had come back to haunt them both. She was certain there was still a long way to go until they reached there, or the new version of what  _'there'_  would be. She'd take either as long as it was the two of them together.

A waiter bringing her a cup of coffee broke her out of her train of thoughts, grateful that she had a reminder to stick to the present whilst she was spending time which was now so precious with the man she loved. "Thanks."

"I got you a coffee, and ordered some buttermilk pancakes with blueberries," Jay told her when the waiter walked away, and Erin couldn't help but smile.

"My favourite," she murmured, sipping her black coffee as she eyed him over the rim of her mug. "How was last night?"

"It was-" he began, leaning back in his chair and fiddling with the handle of the cup in front of him.

Erin waited for him to finish his sentence, watching as he avoiding her gaze and stared intently at his fingers as he gathered his thoughts and feelings. She knew she was the only one who he told about the meetings he was attending, and the significance of them all. Jay did his best to keep her in the loop, even when he didn't want to seem weak in front of her. The one the previous night was where he had decided he was going to finally stop being the silent member of the group and actually participate. It had taken almost 7 weeks, but Erin couldn't deny how proud she felt.

Letting out a deep sigh, a crooked half-smile curved his lips as he eventually peered up at her. "Horrible. But you know, it's got to be done."

"I'm proud of you, Jay. I know it's hard but the first step is admitting there's something to work on," she stated knowingly, having faced similar troubles when she first got clean back as a teen. Luckily for her, the only rehab she had gone through was at the Voight household, and the only talking she had had to do was with Camille and Hank; people she came to love and trust.

Clearing his throat, Jay lifted his head to look at her as he asked hesitantly, "Did you- Did you get my letter?"

"Yeah," Erin breathed, unsure what else to say. He had left it on her-  _their_  coffee table after the last night they had spent together a few days ago, and though she had read immediately, she had no idea how to bring it up when he failed to acknowledge it since.

It wasn't long, but it was to the point, and she could still feel the hurt, love and anger that had squeezed her heart tight and blocked up her throat as she had read it. His words of apologies and explanation, how he wanted to be enough for her and be  _right_  for her. How his past was so messed up that even he had no idea how to sort through it, and having suppressed it all had proven to be unsuccessful. How he wanted to be the partner she deserved in every aspect of her life, and  _one day,_  he hoped there would be a time where nothing was off limits or a secret between them. But to get there, he had to figure it out himself, and know exactly who he was now that the image he had built of himself had shattered for the two of them; something he couldn't handle seeing in her eyes.

Reaching out, she slipped her hand atop of his, curling her fingers around until they pressed against his palm and her thumb could stroke his knuckles soothingly. "I'm here, okay? No matter what, or how long you need. I promise you, I'm always going to be here for you. I told you all you had to do was say the word and I would help you with anything you might need, anything you might carry from your time in the Army and after, from your past, and I meant it. You know a lot of my past and you helped me so much, babe. Let me help you too, alright?"

Jay nodded, accepting her offer though she was sure it would take longer before he acted on it. "I am sorry I left," he said instead, reiterating one of the last lines he had written, adding how it had nothing to do with her or how much she meant to him, but rather that he didn't want to their home to become tainted with the history of his lies.

"I know, and it's okay as long as you're planning on coming home," she informed him with a soft smile that brought one of his own out.

"Soon," he assured her, which was more than she was expecting but would gladly take.

"Whenever you're ready," Erin stated, emphasising without words that she was there to stay and wait for him for as long as he needed to make his way back to her. She was grateful they had the kind of relationship where they could understand one another without the need of excessive words, especially when their waiter reappeared with two plates. Their conversation now over, she pulled her hand away as she took in the tall pile of pancakes in front of her as well as Jay's own full breakfast. "I love you."

"Because I ordered you a double stack?" Jay retorted, diffusing any tension and the seriousness of their conversation with amusement as he smirked at her wry glare. "I love you, too," he added, picking up his utensils and cutting into the eggs and toast on his plate as he casually asked her, "What are your plans for the rest of the day?"

Swallowing her pancakes, she shook her head gently. "After this? Nothing really."

"Want to spend it with me? There's someone I'd like you to meet," he asked almost shyly, focusing on his food rather than her in a way that was rather adorable.

Knowing that it indicated that this ' _someone_ ' was probably linked to his Army days, Erin smiled. "Absolutely."


	11. 58 - “You don’t have to say anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another prompt from @queseraone  (muchos gracias!) and a huge thanks to@justkillingtimewhileiwait again for her beta’ing help :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading too, and all of the feedback! <3 Please let me know what you think again, and if you have any prompts off this list you’d like me to write, just message me! (That list is also a master post for all the prompts I’ve so far :))
> 
> Set just after 3x17.

****It wasn’t a sound that woke her but rather a feeling. Erin wasn’t sure how but she knew she wasn’t alone in her apartment. Unconsciously holding her breath to apply her senses better, she finally let it out when she heard a familiar deep sigh from the room on the other side of her bedroom door. _Jay_.

Slipping out of her bed, she took a quick peek at her phone to see it was clear of any notifications and it was just past 1 a.m. Though she had been asleep for less than two hours, after their latest case it wasn’t really a surprise she had slept so deeply.

“Hey,” she whispered softly into the dark as she crossed the threshold of the two rooms.

Jay turned his head to look at her, tearing his gaze away from the view of the city visible out of the window as he perched on the arm of her couch. The small lamp on the table next to him threw shadows across his face, highlighting his sharp features, deep eyes and obvious tiredness.

“Hey,” he replied just as quietly, lifting the beer in his hand to his lips lazily as he turned back to look outside.

Approaching him slowly, Erin crossed her arms and stopped when she was close enough to feel his body heat radiate off him and envelope her. “How long have you been here?” she asked, foregoing wondering  _why_  he was there. They rarely spent a night apart, no matter how they had spent the day or the evening.

“Not long. Half hour, maybe,” Jay answered with a shrug.

Eyeing the bottle in his hand, she rolled her lips between her teeth as she contemplated whether to question the drink or not. They both had their vices, and whereas she was the one with the addictive nature, he was the one who had never addressed his past. Not with the proper help she had had the first time, or the support system the second time.

Erin wasn’t sure whether she was being compassionate or a coward when she decided not to, but instead deflected to them. “You should have woken me.”

“I was planning on coming to bed, but I was too wound up to sleep. I didn’t want to keep you up,” Jay informed her, dropping his eyes for a moment to where his hands laid on his lap before meeting her own with a meaningful gaze. “I never slept with her, you know that, right? I’d never do that, not to you.”

“Who, Brianna?” she questioned, brow furrowed as she tried to keep up with his sudden change in topic. At his nod, Erin reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder to gain his full attention, making sure he understood she meant the words she was about to say. “I  _never_  thought you would. I know the kind of man you are.”

“Okay, good. Because between this case, Voight and her husband, I just wanted to make sure you knew,” he reiterated, though relief flooded his features as her words sunk in. Taking another sip of his beer, Erin shot him a questioning look at his mention of Voight. Jay dropped his eyes and answered her unasked questions before she could open her mouth to ask him. “He asked me if I was sleeping with her. I told him I wasn’t, but I don’t think he completely believed me.”

“Jay,” she sighed, running her fingers through his hair, knowing his bitter tone was more out of frustration with not being trusted by Voight when it came to her rather than him questioning him in the first place. Laying a hand on his leg, she pressed lightly until he shifted so she could step between them and placed her hands on either side of his neck so she could force him to look at her. “Forget what he thinks, alright? Hank no longer has a say in our relationship, we decided that.”

His eyes searched hers for a moment; a wry one-sided smile finally pulling at his lips as she tenderly stroked his jaw. “It’s just been a hell of a week, Erin.”

“I know, babe,” she told him, continuing in her soothing actions against the day’s stubble along his jawline, even as he took another swig from his beer. “How were drinks with Mouse and Ethan? Did it help?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Jay murmured offhandedly. It wasn’t the clear-cut answer Erin had expected, but she knew that after everything that had happened, and whatever it had trudged up, it would take more than just an evening at Molly’s to deal with. Resting his free hand on her hip, she felt him squeeze gently; an apologetic look on his face as he did so. “They can relate, that’s all. “

Shaking her head, Erin offered him a soft smile. “You don’t have to say anything, Jay. I get it. I’m here if you ever want to talk, and I’m here even if you don’t. As long as you talk to someone, okay? Just please don’t keep it all inside,” she pleaded with him.

“I’ll try,” he answered, and though it wasn’t the promise she was looking for, it was honest and earnest, which was a very close second. She didn’t reply, instead watching as he tilted his head back to finish off his drink. This time he caught her eyeing the bottle in his hand, offering her sad, twisted smile as he assured her, “It’s only my third tonight, I swear.”

“Okay,” she said acceptingly, slipping the empty bottle out of his hand and placing it next to the lamp on the table beside them. “Ready for bed?”

Jay let out a slow breath; eyes falling close a moment as she took his hand in her own. “Yeah,” he eventually murmured, the blue of his eyes slightly lighter when he opened them once again that they had been a few moments earlier.

Silently, they retreated back to her bedroom where she slipped under the covers on her still-warm side of the bed. Jay joined her soon after, settling in next to her on his side so she was able to see him. Despite his decision to come to bed, it was clear he was still as far from sleep as he had been when he had arrived at her place.

Erin watched him carefully; watched as he shuffled around to bury an arm below his pillow and watched as his eyelids fluttered closed. “Voight gave me a week off,” he told her, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.

“He told me,” she replied quietly, unable to keep herself from touching him. Laying a hand on his cheek, she stroked the fine hair at his hairline before curving her hand over the top of his head to gently cradle the back, fingers carded through the hair. “What do you plan on doing?”

“Apart from sleeping?” Jay remarked with a half-hearted smirk, settling deeper into his pillow and the bed as she absentmindedly caressed his hair. “I was thinking about heading up to the cabin for a few days. Get away from here for a bit.”

“The one in Wisconsin?” Erin questioned, recalling the conversation they had had about it over a year ago but had yet to mention it again. Though she supposed that was mostly her fault; she had put their relationship on hold not soon after the discussion about retiring in Wisconsin and then had gone off on her so-called sabbatical. She broke out of her thoughts before delving deeper by Jay’s confirming hum. “Want some company?”

“Doubt you’d be able to get the time off,” he commented, eyes opening when she didn’t immediately respond. Quirking an eyebrow, she shot him a dimpled smile as he smirked. “You already have.”

“Only a few days,” she confirmed with a single-shouldered shrug. “I wasn’t planning on letting you deal with this yourself, Jay. You were there for me even when I didn’t realise I needed you to be.”

Jay turned to press a kiss to her arm, lips landing right on the edge of her elbow and spoke into her soft skin, “I’d love your company.”


	12. 59 - "Wow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another prompt from @queseraone!
> 
> Again, huge thanks to@justkillingtimewhileiwait  for her beta’ing help :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading too, and all of the feedback! <3 Please let me know what you think again - I seriously love reading all your thoughts. It truly makes my day. 
> 
> If you have any prompts off this list you’d like me to write, just message me! (That list is also a master post for all the prompts I’ve so far :))

****“...and then in a few weeks’ times, the Hawks are gonna lift the Cup with all three of us right there watching. Maybe I'll feel generous and invite your Uncle Will too,” Jay explained to his son in the one-sided conversation they were currently having whilst carefully trying to get his little feet into the equally little shoes whilst he was distracted by his talking. “I’m going to make sure you have all the best stories to tell when you grow up.”

The seven-month-old sat obediently on the couch dressed in a tiny Blackhawks shirt with ‘Halstead’ printed on the back, jeans and the cutest Hawks hat he had ever seen planted backwards on his head just like his daddy whilst Jay knelt in front of him to complete the task at hand. It didn’t help Sammy preferred to grab at his father’s hat or his own socks when possible, though with some diversion tactics of tickling or pressing kisses to his hands as Jay pried them away, he finally got him ready.

“There, all done!” Jay announced with extra enthusiasm, revelling in the way Sammy clapped and laughed back, dimples that were a mirror of his mother’s curving into his cheeks, and babbled what he swore was something that almost sounded like  _‘Dada’_. Sighing contently, he held the child securely by the waist and slid him forward on the couch. “God, you're just too adorable. How did I get so lucky with you, baby boy?”

“Are you sure taking a seven-month-old to a hockey game is a good idea? It’s pretty cold in there,” Erin called out from their bedroom, repeating the worries she had been voicing for the past three days.

“That’s why we're all prepared to be bundled up, aren't we, Sammy?” Jay replied lightly, pulling close the diaper bag to check one final time that he had carefully packed the cardigan, scarf and a beanie hat in case they needed it. Earmuffs had been thrown in to protect their baby from the cold as well as the loud noises. Jay had even folded and added the super-soft Blackhawks baby blanket they had received as a gift from Sergeant Platt. Erin’s worries hadn’t gone unheard, and even he had to admit that her concerns weren’t just new-mom jitters. Satisfied, he zipped it up and stood up, hoisting Sammy into the air as he did to make the excited baby squeal in delight. “Besides, he’s a winter baby. He’s used to the cold.”

“I don’t think that’s  _quite_  how it works,” Erin remarked dryly as she entered the room, dressed in an outfit that matched both her husband and her son. Jay wasn’t sure when they had become _that_  kind of family, but he could definitely understand the appeal of seeing her in a shirt with his name on the back. Not that anyone would see it outside their apartment because, for all the years she had lived in Chicago, Erin did not handle the cold well. “What?” she asked in confusion when she caught him staring at her.

“Wow, you look...  _amazing_ ,” he replied empathically, eyes roaming her entire form; from her ankle boot covered feet, over her tight, hip-hugging jeans and to the loose top which was tied at the waist to give it some shape.

Erin scoffed at his compliment, walking past them and just managing to avoid Sammy trying to grab onto her ponytail to retrieve her beloved leather jacket when where it hung by the front door. “I’m wearing your old Hawks shirt, Jay. My own doesn’t fit because of these,” she paused to point at her breasts, rolling her eyes when he smirked at her drawing his attention to them, “which apparently  _do not_  go back to the way they were pre-pregnancy despite what people tell you. I can’t look that great.”

“You pull it off well,” Jay argued before sighing in resignation as the thought that he wouldn’t be the only one that day to think so occurred to him. “Too well, actually. The boobs probably help.”

Shaking her head at his adoring ridiculousness, Erin approached them by the couch once again to take in how cute her son looked. “At least we all match,” she offered, running a hand up Sammy’s tummy to tickle him gently and earning herself a peal of giggles in return as he tried to unsuccessfully squirm away in his father’s arms.

“That we do,” Jay agreed, hitching Sammy higher so they were cheek-to-cheek. “Doesn’t Mommy look hot?”

Gasping incredulously, she shoved him in the opposite shoulder to where he held their son, eyes flitting over to him in warning. “ _Jay!_ ”

“Fine; beautiful,” he rectified, leaning in to kiss her to the audience of their clapping child. “See, he agrees.”

“He doesn’t know what you’re saying, do you, sweetie?” Erin countered with a laugh, taking Sammy by his proffered arms as he reached over for her, babbling away in his baby talk in what both parents assumed was his way to grab her attention. “Alright, c’mon. Let’s get this show on the road.”

“The Halstead family’s first hockey game. This is gonna be  _awesome!_ ” he exclaimed, grabbing the diaper bag by the couch and the keys from the bowl by the front door before following her out, making sure it was locked securely behind them.

“They better not lose,” she commented as she allowed Sammy to call for the elevator, pulling him away when he continued to slap at the button with amusement.

“Lose?! Please,” Jay scoffed with a smirk, flicking Sammy’s hat gently and laughing when his little hands reached up in confusion with what had happened. “We’ve got all the luck we need on our side. We’re going all the way this year.”

Erin sighed dramatically, taking Sammy’s hands and lowering them as they stepped into the elevator. “Please don’t turn out like your daddy. Mommy needs  _some_  sanity in the household.”

Pouting, Jay huffed until he felt a tiny hand press against his mouth, causing him to smile at his son’s version of comfort. Kissing the small palm, he took the hand in his own and met Erin’s affectionate smile with one of his own. “You wouldn’t want me any other way.”

Shrugging nonchalantly, she shook her head and rested it lightly against her son’s. “Well, most of the time.”


	13. 62 - It can wait until tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about the long wait between the last prompt and this one. I haven’t lost motivation, just the want to write during the little spare time I have. But reading some new Linstead fics and people’s feeback on my last prompt definitely helped me get out of that rut. So thank you, amazing Linstead fandom!
> 
> So this is another prompt from @queseraone, and once again huge thanks to@justkillingtimewhileiwait for her beta’ing help :)
> 
> Please let me know what you think again - I seriously love reading all your thoughts. It truly makes my day(s). 
> 
> If you have any prompts off the list on my tumblr you’d like me to write, just message me! (That list is also a master post for all the prompts I’ve so far :))

Jay broke the heavy silence between them the second he locked the apartment door. “What do you fancy for dinner?” he asked despite it nearing 10 in the evening, toeing off his shoes and automatically helping Erin to do the same.

 

“Honestly, I just want a hot shower and then go straight to bed,” she replied with a shake of the head, a wry smile curving tiredly on her slightly pale features.

 

Inhaling deeply, Jay allowed his eyes to roam over her momentarily. Without her boots on, the difference in their height was emphasised and it wasn’t the first time that day he had realised just how much his thoughts, muscles and instincts were now all fine-tuned into protecting her, no matter what. Even on the days when he had failed, as evident by the sling around her neck holding her left arm steady and the bruise on her collar.

 

“As great as that sounds, neither one of us has eaten in over 8 hours, and you can't take those meds without food,” he reminded her, fishing out the pill bottle from his pocket and laying them next to their keys on the side table. They were just anti-inflammatories for her sprained shoulder and though she hadn’t refused to take them, Erin had insisted he kept them for her. “How about I make us something simple, like grilled cheese?”

 

Her pain-stricken eyes, fogged over by the medication they had given her at the hospital, seemed to clear and lighten at the mention of her favourite comfort food. “With that red pesto thing?”

 

“I think I can manage that,” Jay assured her with a small smile before resting a hand on her back and gently leading her towards the bedroom. “Let me help you get into the shower and then I'll get on it.”

 

“I'll be okay, Jay. Don't worry,” Erin insisted, offering him an apologetic glance once he had left her in their room to make sure the bathroom was clutter-free. If it wasn’t, that would be her fault. She was the messy one; a complete contrast to his almost OCD neat freak nature. Not that he would say anything, especially not tonight when there were much bigger things lingering between them needing to be discussed.

 

“Far too late for that,” he replied, his voice echoing off the bathroom tiles but holding no blame or anger; just a tiredness she could feel deep in her bones too. He returned a moment later with the sound of the shower running and a small pile of clothes which he threw straight into the laundry hamper before stepping up behind her to work on carefully removing her sling without jarring her shoulder. “Good thing I love to get you out of your clothes.”

 

“Perhaps under better circumstances,” she muttered bitterly, most of it aimed at herself. It was only when Jay didn’t reply but instead held her arm steady with the softest of touches as he managed to manoeuvre the sling off and half of her blouse, that she felt the lump in her throat thicken. Refusing to play into the hands of her emotions, she willed back her tears even as she told herself she could probably blame them on her injury if she wanted to. “I'm sorry.”

 

Pausing midway of inching her top off her shoulders, his brow furrowed as he moved in front of her to ask, “For?”

 

“This,” Erin stated, pointing to her injuries as she met his eyes, darker than they normally were. Especially when he was stripping her. There was no want or lust in them tonight, just concern and tiredness, if not a hint of anger too. “I promised I wouldn't go anywhere without backup ever again, especially after Yates. I just can't seem to keep it, and you're right. I shouldn't have gone after him without backup. If I had just waited-”

 

Jay cut off her emotional babbling with gentle hushing and framing her face with his hands to make sure he had all of her attention. Her glossy eyes failed to meet his and he could feel the rapid beating of her heart through her pulse on her neck and her heavy breathing. The day was finally catching up with her, and whereas he  _ really _ wanted to shake her and demand  _ why _ she had thought running after their suspect into an abandoned warehouse when he himself was only a minute out was a good idea, he instead waited for her to calm down. Like he had throughout the day since the incident that afternoon, he swallowed his own want for her needs.

 

“Erin, I know. I know you're sorry and I know the ‘what ifs’,” he explained, letting out a harrowing breath before pressing his lips to her forehead, the same place the muzzle of a gun had been pushed against earlier that day. The image of their main suspect, who now laid cold in the city morgue, holding her tight enough to damage her shoulder as she had fought his grip whilst another pressed the weapon to her head was burned into his retinas. “Let's be glad it's just a sprained shoulder and nothing worse.”

 

Leaning against him, Erin allowed her eyes to drift close as she whispered the thoughts that had been trawling around in her head the entire day since the incident. “They were going to kill me. I saw it in their eyes; they had no intention in letting me live.”

 

“That was their biggest mistake,” Jay replied adamantly, kissing her head once again before pulling away. “C’mon, let’s get you into the shower,” he said softly with a ghost of a smile, carefully finishing the job of undressing her he had left half-done.

 

“Why aren't you mad at me? I thought you'd be pissed beyond belief for going alone,” Erin suddenly asked, her words both curious and hesitant as she did her best to assist him take off her top. She hated disappointing the people she loved, especially those who trusted her to keep her promises. Moreover, she absolutely detested arguing with Jay, but she knew there was no way he would avoid the conversation that was lingering around them like the elephant in the room.

 

“Oh, I am, and have no doubt you'll hear all about it. But it can wait until tomorrow,” he assured her bitterly, fingers deftly working on undoing her jeans and guiding her to perch on the edge of the bed so he could slip them off. He shot her a wry, lopsided smile after he peeled off her socks too, tossing it all in the direction of the laundry basket. Crouched in front of her, he laid his hands on her bare knees, warming her to the core with his natural heat and his loving touch. “Right now, I'm just glad you're going to be okay. You scared the hell out of me.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Erin apologised, not only for scaring him but for going after their perp alone. She knew the conversation they had to have would be long and intense, but at least they’d both be rested and honest. And more than that, she was fairly certain it wouldn’t end in a full-blown argument. The realisation helped her relax a bit, her tense muscles loosening gratefully.

 

“You going to be alright to shower?” Jay asked as he got to his feet and then helped her to her own.

 

Peering up at him momentarily, she offered him a sly little smile and shrugged with her good shoulder the best she could without setting off the burning pain in the other. “I might need some assistance. Backup, right?”

 

Shaking his head, Jay chuckled under his breath and started to peel off his top in preparation to join her. “Right.”


	14. 79: “I’ll still be here when you’re ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all once again for the amazing feedback! It’s really driven me to write this one quicker :) Please let me know what you think  - I seriously love reading all your thoughts. It truly makes my day(s).
> 
> This prompt is from @queseraone and @glasgowgirl92, and as always huge thanks to@justkillingtimewhileiwait  for her beta’ing help :)
> 
> Like always - if you have any prompts off this list you’d like me to write, just message me! (That list is also a master post for all the prompts I’ve so far :

 

Inhaling deeply, Jay swiped his hands down his jeans before reaching out to knock on the wooden door in front of him. This should have been the easiest part; he knew the women on the other side better than he knew almost anyone else. More than that, he had managed to knock on the front door of his boss’ house, successfully gain entry and even gotten permission to head up towards the sergeant's pseudo-daughter’s bedroom. So approaching Erin after everything she had done to get him back safely should have been nothing.

 

Except it felt like everything, especially with the knowledge she was working on beating her addiction and getting sober so she could come back to work. Back to him, or so he hoped. Regardless of what their personal relationship status had been prior to her downfall, or what she would want now. As long as he had her in his life, things would definitely look a lot better than it had over the past few weeks.

 

Letting out a deep sigh, Jay raised his hand and finally knocked. “Erin, can I come in?” he added when there was no sound or sign of her.

 

A rustle of paper and the soft padding of bare feet against carpet built up the moment to when she opened her door, eyeing him suspiciously even as surprise masked her features. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I thought you might like some company,” he answered honestly, eyeing her as subtly as he could. She was dressed in a pair of black leggings and an oversized CPD hoodie, hair swept up into a messy ponytail. With her face devoid of any and all makeup, it was easy to see the toll withdrawals was taking on her with her paler complexion and darker shadows under her eyes. Yet, as she smiled and allowed him to enter the room, his heart still picked up the pace as it always did at her dimples. “And maybe get out of here.”

 

“I’m not 16 anymore; I’m not climbing out of that window,” Erin scoffed dryly, throwing out a hand towards the old window which rattled gently in the summer breeze.

 

Jay laughed as he approached the aforementioned window, peering outside to see the roof of the porch directly under the window and leaving no doubt that she had taken that route out many times before. “Let me just state that I’d be fine with climbing out, but I was thinking of using the front door,” he informed her, earning himself a raised brow before he clarified, “Voight said it’d be cool, as long as I had you home by 9pm.” He didn’t add how much it had pained him to bite back a retort about having her on curfew to their boss.

 

“So you’re just babysitting me?” she asked sceptically, crossing her arms over her chest as she tried to stare him down when he turned to face her once again.

 

“I’m giving you the pleasure of my company, Erin. If you don’t want it, I know other places I could take it…” Jay said drolly with a ghost of a smile playing on his lips, watching as something similar appeared on hers.

 

“Oh yeah? Where?” she prompted nonchalantly.

 

“Well,” he began, wracking his brain for a more plausible answer than someone on their team. “I know Will is free this evening.”

 

Erin lifted both her brows, a smirk now clear on her features. “Your brother? Wow, I should be so lucky you chose me over him,” she replied sarcastically.

 

“Yeah, you should,” Jay told her without missing a beat, waiting for a smartass reply that never came. “So? I’m hungry.”

 

As she seemed to ponder over his proposal, he allowed his eyes to roam over her room but were ultimately drawn to her bed. Not only because of the small size of it but because of the laptop that laid closed in the middle of a pile of paper which looked like bills to him. Bills which, he had no doubt, were related to her apartment. From the quick survey he had done of it back before she had left the unit, back when she was still struggling to deal with Nadia’s loss and drowning herself in sorrow, alcohol, drugs and another man, it probably needed a good makeover. Especially if Bunny had been there to host her infamous parties. Jay also made a mental note to carefully ask Erin if she was going to change her locks, and if so, he had the perfect guy for it who could do so discreetly and securely.

 

“Alright, let’s go. You’re buying,” she finally conceded, letting her arms hang by her side before tugging lightly at the bottom of her hoodie with a cringe. “Let me get changed.”

 

Furrowing his brow, Jay took her in once again in bemusement. “You gonna get changed? You look fine.”

 

“I’m in sweats, Jay. I’m trying to recover, not look like more of a druggie,” Erin reasoned, already on her way towards her closet. It was much smaller than the walk-in closet she had at her own apartment, but he could see a good collection of outfits hanging indicating that perhaps he was going to have to build up the nerve to come over a few more times in the near future.

 

“You don’t look like that at all,” he told her once he snapped back to the present. Clearing his throat, Jay spun around on his heel and busied himself with actually taking in her room to give her some privacy to change. “So this is your childhood bedroom, huh?”

 

“Teenage,” she rebutted immediately, the word muffled by material.

 

“Where are all the posters? I expected boybands and half-naked men riding bikes,” he commented about the bare walls; a complete contrast to her place where she even had wallart in her bedroom.

 

“Oh, they’re in my apartment along with my teddy bear collection,” she quipped wryly.

 

“Now, I know that’s a lie because the only teddies you have are wearable,” Jay replied suggestively, dodging the hoodie she threw in his direction after she had swapped it for a plain t-shirt.

 

He laughed at her actions, picking up the clothing and folding it before neatly placing it onto her bed for later. He purposely ignored the sight of one of his henleys thrown haphazardly atop of her pillows, knowing it had been one she had routinely slept in when they had been together and, when he couldn’t find it after their breakup, had assumed she had kept it. But seeing it there, knowing she had been wearing it recently, definitely brought warmth to his heart, a quickening of his pulse and reassurance to his mind.

 

“Jay?” Erin called out tentatively, causing him to face her with the most casual mask he could put on, not wanting her to see his reaction to something as innocent as her nightwear. Dressed in jeans and a simple top, she gnawed on her bottom lip momentarily before peering up at him, fingers twisting together for a second before she held them still by gripping her hands together in front of her. “I just want to let you know that as much as I appreciate this, I’m not ready to talk about it, okay? So if that’s what you’re expecting, then maybe we shouldn’t head out at all.”

 

Jay nodded without another thought. “Okay.”

 

“Okay?” she asked in confusion, and he could tell that she wasn’t sure whether he was agreeing to not talking or to not heading out. There was apprehension playing on her features too, and he hoped it meant that she was looking as forward to an evening out as he was.

 

Nodding once again, he walked up to her. “Okay. If you don’t want to talk about your  _furlough_ , then we won’t. We’ve never had trouble with keeping conversations going,” he reminded her with a soft smile, laying a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. “I’ll still be here when you’re ready, though. You know that, right?”

 

“I know. Thank you. For everything,” Erin said earnestly as she looked up at him to catch his eyes. The last time he had truly looked into them, when she had turned up to save him, they had held a glossy sheen over them as proof of her recent recreational activities. But they were now clear, shining almost brightly in the late afternoon sunlight streaming in through her creaky window.

 

“I didn’t do much,” Jay replied with a simple shrug but was stopped from carrying on when she shook her head.

 

“You helped bring me back- you  _did_  bring me back, though I wish it hadn’t been the way it had,” she argued with a frown he wished he could kiss away. Instead, the best he could do was to offer her another gentle smile.

 

“I’d go through it all again if it meant we could be at this moment right here,” he assured her, sliding his hand up to her neck so he could lightly caress her jawline with his thumb.

 

Her eyes fluttered closed for a brief moment, a sigh leaving her lips as his ministrations. “Jay,” she murmured carefully, almost warningly, and he realised that perhaps the familiar touch was a bit over the line for what their current relationship status was.

 

Giving her shoulder a final grip as he dropped his hand, he pushed them both into his jeans’ pockets and steered the subject towards more safer grounds. “Besides, stakeouts with Antonio aren’t as fun. He’s definitely not as pretty to look at, or as fun to make out with.”

 

Erin laughed with him at his comment, scrunching up at her nose in disgust as she did. “Wow, now there’s an image I never needed.”

 

“Alright, c’mon. Let’s go before you risk missing your curfew,” he retorted, no longer fighting the temptation to tease her as he ushered her out of the room by holding the door open for her. “God, it’s like  _I’m_  16 again. Am I allowed to touch you or will your  _dad_  try to shoot my hand off?”

 

Quickly glancing downwards as she passed him by, she smirked and whispered conspiringly, “Probably not your hand.”


	15. 82 - “I was in the neighbourhood.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all once again for the amazing feedback! Please let me know what you think  - I seriously love, love, love reading all your thoughts. It truly makes my day(s).
> 
> This prompt is from @queseraone (who also added ‘because before they feel an electric pull to each other and have to stop by each other’s places’ so I tried to keep that in mind) and @sophiaxjesse , and once again huge thanks to @justkillingtimewhileiwait for her amazing beta’ing help :)
> 
> As always - if you have any prompts off this list you’d like me to write, just message me! (That list is also a master post for all the prompts I’ve so far :))
> 
>  

****A knock on at the door at near 9am was not how Erin had expected to start her day off. Lounging around on her couch with some coffee and a pile of Pop Tarts whilst dressed in the most comfiest clothes she owned, yes. Answering the door in said clothes and probably looking a mess, not really.

Peeking through the peephole in her door, she bit back a groan of frustration at the sight of Jay on the other side. Of course her partner had to be here to see her like that. Her partner who could be much more than just a partner if she allowed them to. Or rather, if her somewhat of a father figure did.

Sighing in resignation, she unlocked the door and pulled it open. On the one hand, it was always great to start her day seeing her partner. On the other, seeing him sweating through his t-shirt that probably wasn’t originally stuck to his body but now showed off his well-defined muscles was not helping her keep things professional.

“Hey,” Jay greeted her when she failed to say anything. She narrowed her eyes slightly at his wide grin, ignoring his heavy breathing as much as she could.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in reply, leaning against her doorjamb.

Shrugging, he flung a hand around to gesture between them and the building in general. “Well, I was in the neighbourhood and I thought we could grab breakfast or something,” he told her innocently.

Erin couldn’t help but be mesmerised by the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly, probably dry from his morning run. Somewhere at the back of her mind, she knew the most polite thing to do would be to offer him some water, but her brain couldn’t co-operate with her common sense when she was stood in front of a panting Jay Halstead.

“How do you know I haven’t already eaten?” she questioned him.

“Have you?” he rebuked immediately, quirking a brow challengingly. They both knew she wouldn’t have because, as much as she hated to admit it, she was ever so slightly predictable. The reason why Jay could turn up randomly at her door on their day off without a word of warning and ask her out for breakfast without being turned down immediately.

Choosing not to answer him, she eyed him instead and finally addressed his state. “Did you run all the way from your place?”

“Seems like it,” he replied nonchalantly, as if the distance between their two apartments wasn’t over 7 miles away when they took into consideration the park he had run through for a change of scenery.

Scrunching up her nose, she shook her head. “You need to shower before I even  _contemplate_  being seen out in public with you,” she informed him, opening the door and stepping back to give him a wider berth than was necessary to enter.

“Is that an invitation?” Jay asked suggestively, his gaze roaming her body all far too quickly for both of their liking.

Erin scoffed. “It’s an  _order_ ,” she demanded, closing the door behind them and pointing towards the bathroom.

“Yes, ma’am,” he teased over dramatically, even offering her a half-hearted salute as he followed her direction towards the other room.

It wasn’t the first time he would be showering there, and as Erin retreated to her room to grab him a change of clothes, she wondered if it had been part of his plan all along. There was no way she would have gone out for a meal with him in the state he was, and he clearly had no spare clothes with him. But she definitely did.

...

The bright sun did nothing to warm her up as she knelt in the damp grass in front of Nadia’s grave. Summer was just ending but she was sure the chill in her had nothing to do with the weather itself. Tugging her cardigan sleeves further down her hands, Erin pursed her lips as she struggled to think about what to say. It had never been an issue when Nadia had been alive, but that was mainly because the other girl could carry on a conversation with practically anyone. Talking about work was too painful, but talking about something mundane was almost disrespectful. She knew she could talk about Bunny, and her rehab, but having to tell a gravestone about how she was now back in her teen bedroom didn’t really feel right.

A shadow approaching from her right side gave her a slight reprieve from her internal debate of self-depreciation and blame, lips curving naturally at the sight of her partner. “Jay.”

“Morning,” he greeted, taking the final two steps until he was able to crouch down beside her. “I was in the neighbourhood, thought I’d stop by and see how our favourite girl was doing.”

“You tend to hang out around cemeteries often?” Erin teased, squinting up at him before his movements stole her attention. Reaching out, he laid a small bouquet of yellow tulips onto the grass, fingers softly brushing over Nadia’s name momentarily and then returning to his lap. Shock colouring her words, she asked incredulously, “You bring her these flowers?”

There had been a bunch of wilted stems when she had arrived, the flowers already dead with the rain having softened them into decomposition. She had noticed the odd colourful petals around the grave on her previous visits, but had never really questioned them, having figured they had been brought over by the wind from another grave. Erin had certainly never thought they had been for Nadia, or that it had been Jay who had been bringing them.

“She liked them,” he reasoned with a casual shrug, and she bit back a wince at his words.

“She didn’t. She tolerated them at best,” Erin confessed to him. Nadia never found any joy or fondness for flowers, finding them annoying and too high maintenance for her. She would scowl and roll her eyes at the detective whenever she pulled out a vase for the new flowers she had bought. Or the ones Jay had brought her one time during their brief relationship.

“She lied to me?” Jay asked, looking completely aghast at the thought. But then again, that was truly Nadia; never one wanting to hurt or disappoint those she was fond of.

“About a lot of things, I’m sure,” she told him, smiling softly at the small indignant pout that formed on his lips. Shaking her head, she tilted it upwards as she weighed her options before deciding to confess one of her and Nadia’s biggest secrets. “She had this huge crush on you, you know? Like seriously, it got borderline disturbing at times.”

Pout disappearing, Jay’s boyish grin slid into its rightful place. “I wanna say I’m surprised, but…”

“Shut up,” Erin laughed, giving him a light shove to the shoulder so he teetered slightly in his unsteady position. Rolling her lips between her teeth, she allowed herself to think back to the happier days only a few months earlier when Nadia was still alive, and she and Jay were still together. “But she knew about us and she was happy. Didn’t stop her from asking about all the sordid details.”

Arching a brow, he gave her a questioning look as a boyish smile lopsidedly curved his lips. “What did you tell her?”

“What do you think I told her?” she shot back, mimicking his features.

“That I’m as amazing between the sheets as I am on the streets?” he replied casually, albeit with some dramatic hopefulness.

“ _Jay!_ ” Erin chided, trying to look appalled but dissolving into laughter with him instead. They had fallen back into their friendship effortlessly, their partnership coming in a close second, and she wasn’t going to deny that her rehabilitation was twice as easy with him back in her life.

“She’d be proud of you right now,” Jay stated, breaking out of her thoughts as if he was reading them. Keeping her eyes upon the gravestone ahead of her, she took in a deep breath to steady herself. Hearing him tell her that Nadia would be proud of her after she had pretty much given up and gone down into the rabbit hole she had tried to save the teenager from brought up far too many emotions she was comfortable dealing with right then. “Turning your back on your mom, getting sober, coming back to work. It definitely wasn’t the easy way out.”

Exhaling slowly, Erin offered him a watery smile. “But it was the right one.”

Nodding, Jay pressed his fingers to the engraving once again and murmured something that sounded awfully a lot like  _‘see you later’_  before standing up. Looking down, he offered her a hand as he said, “C’mon. Let’s go get some munch.”

Her stomach growled unashamedly at the mention of food, having left the Voight house that morning on a single cup of coffee. Glancing back at Nadia’s grave, she carefully pushed the fresh flowers back so it was protected from the elements as much as possible and whispered her own farewell.

Grabbing onto the proffered hand, she allowed Jay to tug her to her feet. “Kuma’s?” she suggested, relaxing for the first time since rolling out of bed that morning under the heavy but familiar weight of his arm when he slung it comfortingly over her shoulders as they headed back towards their cars

“I think I could be convinced,” Jay somewhat agreed with an easy smile that told her without words that things were going to be okay.

…

On the third ring, Erin began to feel guilty. It wasn’t late but she had blown him off to hang out with Kim for a girls’ evening at her apartment, and clearly he had found something else to keep him entertained. Just as she was about to hang up and shoot Jay a text instead, there was a click and a voice far deeper and huskier than she was used to hearing. He was rarely a deep sleeper, meaning after the initial wake up, he was pretty much awake.

“Hey,” he greeted her, the single word slurring slightly.

Catching the time on her dashboard once again, Erin smirked and settled back into the driver’s seat of her car. “Hey! What were you doing?”

“Um…” Jay began, clearing his throat with a pause. She could hear the soft rustling of sheets in the background, a subtle groan to his words as she imagined him stretching out on his back as he always did when she woke him up. “Well, I definitely wasn’t sleeping at 9:45 in the evening.”

Laughing softly, she dug her keys into the ignition to turn on her engine. “Jay,” she said simply, tone laced with amusement and an obvious hint that she hadn’t believed him.

“What’s up?” he asked her instead, sounding more and more awake by the second.

Guilt flooding her once again, she shook her head to reprimand herself for disturbing his very rare early night. “Nothing, go back to sleep, old man. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“You sure?” he asked her sceptically.

“Yeah, sleep. I’m gonna head to bed too,” Erin told him, already looking forward to the idea of her bed even if it was without her boyfriend.

Jay’s hum of agreement warmed her ear, and she could practically feel his gentle breath against her skin like she did almost every night.  “Alright. Love you,” he told her softly, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Love you, too, babe. Night,” she replied, waiting until he returned the sentiment before hanging up and pulling away from outside Kim’s apartment with the full intention of heading home.

Only, Jay’s place was easier to get to. Or so she told herself when she accidentally-on-purpose, deliberately took a wrong turn which meant turning back towards her apartment would take twice as long as it would to get to Jay’s. Plus, they both had work tomorrow and it was always an added bonus if she got to spend time with him outside of work too. They might just get hit with a heavy caseload, keeping them busy for days on end from the moment they walked in. Or even worse, before they even got up to their alarms.

Having reasoned with herself why going home simply wasn’t the best option that night, Erin smiled contently as she parked her car next to Jay’s and made her way up as quickly as she could. He had given her a key long before they had become anything more than partners, but it was only now she used it for more personal reasons. Such as sneaking into his apartment when he was in bed to snuggle up with him.

“Er?” his voice broke through the darkness and the silence of his bedroom. Peering up from where she was pulling off her jeans, she caught his eyes with a sheepish smile when he pushed himself up onto his elbows to get a better look at her. “What are you doing here?”

Happy in just her underwear and a camisole, she slipped in under the covers he had pulled back for her. “I was in the neighbourhood and figured your bed was closer than mine,” she informed him matter-of-factly, pressing herself up into his side when he settled back down again.

“Uh huh,” he murmured half-heartedly, clearly not believing her but far past caring to question it. The fact he hadn’t even side eyed the pile of clothes she had left on the middle of his bedroom floor was testament enough. Laying her head upon his chest, she allowed her eyes drift close with the feel of his arm wrapped around her shoulders and his hand in her hair. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Pressing her lips to his warm skin under her cheek, she smiled and cuddled up as much as she could without ending up completely atop of him. Not that he would ever complain, and not that she hadn’t ever done so before. Sighing contently, Erin squeezed his waist gently with the arm slung across it. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”


	16. 83 - Stay there. I'm coming to get you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay - things just got a bit busy. But thank you all once again for the amazing feedback! Please let me know what you think - I seriously love, love, love reading all your thoughts.).
> 
> @queseraone, @sophiaxjesse and @iamjustafollower, as well as an Anon, requested this prompt, so I hope this meets all of your expectations. As always, huge thanks to @justkillingtimewhileiwait for her amazing beta’ing help :)
> 
> As always - if you have any prompts off the list on my tumblr you’d like me to write, just message me! (That list is also a master post for all the prompts I’ve so far :))

Erin couldn’t help the smile that broke out on her face as she caught sight of herself again in the mirror in the corner of their bedroom. Dressing casually, her hair was still damp, having given up on blow drying it when she had noticed the time and realised Jay would be home from his support group meeting soon and she wouldn’t be ready.

He attended them weekly when they weren’t too busy with work, and every time he got home, she tried to do something for him to help him relax. To help provide a sanctuary where he was loved, supported and could decompress, regardless of what happened at the meeting. Whether it was simply ordering in his favourite takeout, making sure she recorded his team’s game or a documentary he would like, or sharing some gossip she had overheard and knew he’d find interesting. Tonight, she had a little mix of everything plus a little gift hidden away in the pocket of the hoodie she had swamped herself in.

Brushing back her hair with her fingers, Erin was broken out of her train of thoughts about how she planned that evening to go when her phone rang shrilly from where she had tossed it onto the bed before her shower. Jay’s name glared brightly back at her as she approached it, and a frown worked its way onto her lips when she noticed the time. By now, he should be home with the two of them cuddled up on the couch, usually with food.

“Hello?” Erin greeted cautiously, unsure of what was going on and willing herself not to thinking about the hundred different scenarios she had seen at work.

“Hey,” Jay replied, the single-worded answer tight and thick, as if he had forced it through several layers of emotions to simply get it out. After what she had learnt his support group meetings were like, she didn’t know if that wasn’t the case.

Realising he wasn’t going to offer her any more details as to why he was calling without her prompting, she asked him, “Where are you? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m still at the community hall. I can’t-” he broke off with a deep breath, and she guessed he was gathering his thoughts as he cleared his throat before carrying on. “Can you come pick me up? Please?”

“Um, yeah,” Erin said warily, torn between asking what happened and leaving to pick him up immediately. It only took a second for her to jump into action, realising she could and  _would_  find out what was going on after she saw him. “Of course. Just stay there, alright? I’m coming to get you.”

Rushing out of the bedroom, she slipped her bare feet into a pair of sneakers and swiped her keys off the table, barely registering the droning radio behind her she had left on as background noise over Jay bidding goodbye as she locked the front door and hurried down to her car.

…

There were only a handful of vehicles in the local community centre’s parking lot that evening so it didn’t take Erin long to pull up next to Jay’s. She had spotted him waiting by the side of the building, perched atop a brick wall which quartered off a rather large oak tree. Stepping out of her car and making her way towards him, it was clear that he hadn’t noticed her arrival at all, despite having phoned her nearly 20 minutes earlier.

“Jay,” she called out as she approached, watching as he raised his head to look at her. There was a forced smile on his features and a mixed look of frustration and relief on his face. When he didn’t reply to her, Erin stopped in front of him and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Hey, babe. Wanna talk?” she asked softly.

“I think I’m all talked out,” he murmured, a self-deprecating smirk making its way to join his emotionally tired look and glazed eyes as he pulled out his hands from his pockets and held them between the two of them. They were shaking ever so slightly, and she could feel his muscles tense under her hand as he tried unsuccessfully to control it.

“Okay. That’s okay; that’s  _good_ ,” Erin assured him, taking his hands into her own and pulling them into her body. She knew he often spent evenings sharing little to no information about himself and his past, only speaking up in the group when he felt like he needed to or could help others. But from what she could gather, it had been an intense evening for him, and she didn’t need him to explain where his mind was at or to know why he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to drive. Tugging lightly on his hands, she took a step back and urged him onto his feet. “Let’s go home.”

“I’m sorry,” Jay apologised as they made their way to her car, her arm wrapped around his waist as his slung over her shoulders. It was a short walk but she had no doubt the contact was beneficial for them both.

Shaking her head, Erin peered up at him. “You have  _nothing_  to apologise for,” she told him earnestly, hoping he would finally get the message this time, but knowing she would be there to reassure him over and over if it was needed.

“Thank you,” he finally whispered into her hair, his voice emotionally hoarse, and she squeezed his side tighter than she thought was possible. “For…  _everything_.”

Reaching their cars, she pulled him to a stop and turned so she could look him straight in the eyes. “Always,” she promised him, brushing her lips against his to seal her vow.

...

Erin’s brow raised in surprise at the sight of Jay slouching in bed, playing around on his phone. After returning home, they had sat down in front of the TV and shared the three different containers of Chinese between them whilst commenting half-heartedly on the documentary about penguins. When Jay had insisted on having an early night, she had sent him with a wave of a hand to go shower whilst she took care of the small amount of dirty cutlery.

“I thought you’d be asleep,” she commented, closing the bedroom door gently behind her.

“Is that why you took so long washing up?” he teased without missing a beat, glancing up at her with a small smirk, the never-ending joke about her lack of domestic skills still entertaining to him.

“Shut up,” Erin scoffed as she climbed onto the bed next to him and curled her knees under her to face him. Reaching out a hand, she laid it on Jay’s bare arm and waited until he dropped his phone onto the covers he was under before asking,  “Are you okay?”

Shrugging, he replied, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Try again, and this time remember who you’re talking to,” she chided, meeting his wry smile with a soft one of hers.

“I  _will be_  fine,” Jay rectified with a sigh, sitting up a bit tensely and placing his phone onto his bedside table. Erin’s hand to drifted down to his, tangling their fingers together and giving him a light squeeze to urge him to carry on. “Tonight was just intense. I'm not used to voluntarily delving into some of those memories. I need to decompress or something, I don’t know,” he muttered with a shake of a head. “Alcohol would usually be involved right now if I didn’t know any better.”

“I’m glad you do,” Erin said empathetically, both of them understanding how big of a deal it always was for either one of them to consciously turn away from their crutch and handle their emotions openly instead. With a timorous smile on his face, she could see in his clear eyes that he was done talking for the night and instead decided to give him something else to focus on. “I have something for you, if that would help.”

“Please,” Jay quickly accepted, visibly relaxing into the pillows behind him as he had been before she had entered. “Anything to get my mind off everything.”

“Okay,” she said softly before digging her free hand into the pocket of the hoodie she had yet to take off from earlier. The confusion was clear on his features, and Erin couldn’t help but bite her lip in anticipation as his brow furrowed deeper when she handed him over the little white stick. “Surprise?”

“Is this-?” he began, turning it over and back again, eyes jumping from his hand to her eyes and back again, as he tried to comprehend what she was trying to tell him. What she had been wanting to tell him since before the phone call that evening. “It’s positive?”

Nodding, she brought their joined hands up to her lips to press against his knuckles; grinning as he looked at her expectantly. “It is. I’m pregnant, Jay.”

“We’re having a baby?” he asked in disbelief, and she could tell that the news was taking its time to sink in as he peered at the pregnancy test once again.

“We are,” she confirmed. An uncharacteristic squeal slipped through her lips when Jay practically lunged at her to kiss her, hard and rough, yet loving and tender all at the same time. Pushing a hand against his chest to back him away slightly, she laughed at his eagerness and couldn’t deny the relief she felt at his immediate and obvious elation. “Whoa, give a girl some warning next time.”

Jay laughed, practically collapsing against the headboard and running a hand through his hair. The pregnancy stick was still in his other hand, and he stared down at it with a shake of his head. “Sorry, sorry. I just- I can’t believe it.”

“Me neither, trust me,” Erin assured him as she carefully balanced herself on her knees with hands on his shoulders until she was straddling him and could sit in his lap. Placing the test on the table, he gripped her by the waist to slide her forwards until they were only inches apart. “I know it wasn’t planned but-”

“I love you,” he interrupted her before she could even tell him how happy she was, and couldn’t wait to face their new future together. Gliding her hands down to his chest, she let out a breath as she felt his heart beat far more regularly than hers was under her palms. “I want this, us, kids; a family. I love you.”

“I love you, too, and I never doubted you would,” she told him, meeting his adoring smile with her own as she kissed him chastely. “Did that help you decompress?”

Holding out his hands in the very little space separating them, they both looked at in amazement at the complete stillness of them before he laid them both carefully onto her stomach. “Just one more reason to keep working through it all.”


	17. 90 - You Can Tell Me Anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Many apologies for being away for so long - I've been a bit ill and low on energy to write, read or post. I had this written before I actually fell ill, so I'm so glad I can post it now. I hope you all enjoy it. It's by far the longest piece I've written so far. Please let me know what you think :)
> 
> This was requested by quesera1. I've kinda set it based on the comment in the season 5 premiere about Jay hitting a fellow cop for harassing Erin (because c'mon; how hot is that?!).
> 
> Thank you to my wonderful beta @justkillingtimewhileiwait !
> 
> As always - if you have any prompts off the list on my tumblr you'd like me to write, just message me! (That list is also a master post for all the prompts I've so far :))

 

It started innocently, or at least, that was what Erin made herself believe. She had no idea who he was when she met him at the crime scene Hank had called her out to in the middle of the night, dragging her away from her warm bed and even warmer boyfriend. Though all things considered, she couldn't complain when she wasn't the poor woman lying dead in her kitchen surrounded by three friends.

"Gruesome, huh?" Officer Malley, according to the name tag on his vest, commented as he led her through the house. He had looked familiar enough; tall, muscular, blonde, green eyes, but she hadn't been able to place him, and if she really thought about it, she knew she wouldn't. There were too many officers in the Chicago Police Department, and she barely knew the ones who worked out of the 21st let alone the rest of the districts.

"Not the worst I've seen," Erin sighed, taking in the modestly sized room and the multiple pools of blood on the tiled floor.

"Really?" the officer asked in surprise, and she shifted slightly to look at him questioningly when intrigue took over his features. "What's the wors-?"

Erin knew what the question was going to be when Hank cut him off by calling for her, but she merely offered a small, apologetic smile before following her boss' voice. By the time they had returned to the kitchen, Malley was gone, and she hadn't spared him another thought.

…

The case had dragged for over three days until Intelligence had caught the break they needed, apprehending the perpetrator not five miles from the crime scene itself. They had slept the bare minimum, just enough to function, as frustration ate at them all for not closing the case.

It was because of the lack of sleep, Erin reasoned to both herself and Jay when she had asked if he had wanted something from the vending machine downstairs, why she was turning to sugar in the form of Skittles in addition to her usual coffee. Since Jay had moved in, her dependency on candy for a sugar high had pretty much disappeared mostly due to the fact he did the grocery shopping more often than not and candy was never on his list. Even if she had snuck it on at the beginning, and received dried fruit packets instead.

"It's nature's candy," he had told her with a brilliant smile that had her wondering whether asking him to move in really was a great idea. Eight months later and she couldn't deny she was just as addicted to the healthy snack as she once was to her candy.

Though she had to admit, she never felt the same joy as she did when standing in front of a vending machine, deciding which variety of Skittles to get.

"Detective Lindsay," a voice called out from down the hallway just as Erin had selected the sour mix, knowing none of the boys but Antonio would touch it. She could share with Antonio.

Feeding the required dollar into the vending machine, she pursed her lips as her colleague approached. He was familiar and she knew she had met him before, but she simply couldn't place him. "Officer," she drawled slowly, hoping he didn't realise that she had forgotten his name as she roamed his uniform for a hint. Unfortunately, his jacket covered his up his vest and therefore his nametag.

"I heard you caught the person who murdered that poor woman and her friends," he commented with a hint of excitement and a whole lot of familiarity she could not reciprocate.

 _Malley_ , she remembered suddenly, mentally returning to the scene where he had met her at the door and guided her through to the kitchen. Though she hadn't recognised him on the night, Erin put it down to the fact that he was probably new to the precinct.

Realising the patrolman was waiting for her response, she put on a small smile and nodded. "Yeah, yeah we did. It was a spiteful old friend."

"I hope she goes away for a while," Malley stated, his words catching her off guard. Never once had she stated the shooter had been female, and Erin knew the news couldn't have spread that quickly. But before she could open her mouth, he was already carrying on with a smile. "You know we never finished that conversation from the crime scene."

"Conversation?" Erin asked, brow furrowing as she failed to recall any meaningful conversation they had shared. She couldn't help the way her muscles tensed in his presence; the way she stood rigid, ready to escape if needed to. There was something about his own overly confident attitude that had her on edge.

"About the worst crime scene you've seen," he reminded her with a shake of the head that she would have called affectionate if they had known each other for longer than approximately five minutes in total.

Erin frowned at his words, taking a carefully administered step back after noticing their close proximity that had only drifted smaller throughout the short exchange and reached for the candy she had yet to retrieve from the machine. "Oh, right! That's not a great conversation, actually," she told him offhandedly, snack now in hand and with every intention of returning back to her desk.

"Maybe a few drinks would make it more interesting? You go to Molly's, right? It's a pub nearby. Most of the first responders around here do," Malley informed her, his smile still in place with hopefulness shining brightly on his features.

"Yeah, no, It's pretty popular. We go there often," she told him with a light laugh, deducing for once and for all that he really was new to the 21st district if he hadn't noticed her at Molly's before, especially if he was asking her out for a drink. Deciding to let him down gently, yet put an obvious end to his attempted flirting, she softened her posture and offered him a quirk of her lips. "Listen, thank you for the offer but I'm in a relationship so I don't think that's really a good idea."

His features fell at her revelation, but before she could try and smooth things over, Malley smiled once again and shrugged nonchalantly. "Alright, well I'll be seeing you around then."

"Sure," she replied flippantly, gripping her candy in her hand and heading back towards the stairs to take her to Intelligence.

The feeling of someone watching her burnt hot against the back of her head as she willed herself to not turn around, and only waiting until she knew she was well out of sight before stopping. Though Erin hadn't immediately recognised him, she knew for certain Malley hadn't been one of the officers working on the case apart from the night of murder itself. They had kept any and all information about the suspect within the small group out so not to scare her off, which was why she found it suspicious that Malley knew it was a woman. Especially when statistics and experience showed that most of the murderers they caught were men.

Shaking her head, Erin pushed her thoughts aside and warned herself about overthinking things when running on fumes, coffee and sugar. If he really was a new cop, then  _of course_  he would follow up on one of his first crime scenes. There were plenty of ways of getting the information, even if Intelligence had run it in the dark for as long as they could. The idea he was following her was far too narcissistic.

…

Three weeks later, Erin wasn't sure it had been a narcissistic thought after all. Perhaps she had been jumping the gun back then, but not anymore. Not when she could see the other officer by the perimeter of the building Intelligence had just raided, and found nothing, helping others to seal it off. It was pretty late, the sun having set hours earlier, giving the secluded area they were in a much more eerie feeling even though it was lit up bright with lampposts and police squad cars.

It was because of the light she could see Malley as he occasionally, almost casually, kept looking back over at her. She tried to ignore it, squinting to force her eyes away from any direct light in his direction, but she couldn't help it. Ever since their initial meeting, she had spotted him at almost every single crime scene she had gone to yet never at the 21st again. If he had been, Erin knew Platt would have caught on quicker than the detective. But Malley's Sargent clearly didn't care about his whereabouts, or who he was riding with.

She could see the exact moment he decided to head her way. It was the same moment she turned her back to him and took steady, careful steps back to the Sierra where her partner was currently depositing his gun. Malley had tried talking to her a couple of times whilst at a scene, mostly about what was going on, but she made sure to shut it down once he turned it personal so not to give him any false ideas. Their relationship was professional, if even that.

Joining Jay at the back of their work car, she let out a small sigh when she noticed Malley turn back to securing the scene, yellow tape in hand. She had yet to tell anyone about the officer and his tendencies; at first not wanting to make it into a bigger deal than it was, and now not wanting to have the stigma of her calling out a male officer on harassment without any solid proof. Though she knew her team would believe her without a second thought, she worked for the city and the Chicago Police Department as a whole. Her career meant a lot to her, and being a detective in one of the most elite units in the city was not where she planned on stopping. If she could make it go away without any official paperwork to follow her, then she would do her best to make it happen.

However, at the same time, she knew ignoring him couldn't go on forever. Giving herself a six-week deadline, she had resolved with herself that if he hadn't gotten bored with her lack of interaction or response by then, she would tell Jay. It made her feel better about not opening up to him about it yet, even if she justified it by reminding herself that he would not take it lightly at all and probably mar his own professional career. It was for all their benefits, and her peace of mind, knowing she had Jay in her corner if she needed him no matter what.

As if realising her train of thoughts were currently about him, though it could have been her sigh that drew his attention too, Jay turned to face her after safely replacing his long gun in the back where hers had remained. He rested a hand on the top of the trunk door, keeping them slightly off to the side and away from  _most_  of the prying eyes as she stepped up to him and into his personal space.

Lifting her hand, she gently skimmed the pads of her fingers over his name on his vest, feeling each and every stitch of fabric which had meticulously formed  _Halstead_ , sitting perfectly over his right pectoral. She couldn't look away, not even as she felt Jay's free hand lay softly on her other arm, caressing her bicep with his thumb and the same tenderness she was giving his name tag.

"You alright?" he questioned, and she knew by his anxious tone if they hadn't just walked out of an empty building where not a single bullet had been fired, he'd have been checking her over for wounds already.

"Yeah," she murmured, dragging her eyes away from his name tag and seeing concern reflect in his own. "I'm fine, don't worry."

"I'm always going to worry, Er," he told her, a frown fixing itself onto his mouth as she tried to offer him a smile.

"I know," she breathed, glancing off to the side quickly to see Malley was still in the nearby vicinity and the reason why she could feel her head start to ache. Turning back to her partner, she pushed herself onto her toes and lightly brushed her lips against his. It was quick and daring, but she needed it to ground herself.

"Erin," Jay began when she fell back onto her feet and took a step back. His brow was furrowed and confusion was etched so clearly onto his features at her out-of-character show of affection whilst at work, there was no need for words to ask what had happened. At her shake of the head, he swallowed and pursed his lips momentarily. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I know," she repeated, assuring him with a smile that stretched much more naturally across her lips and pressing her hand flat against his chest in a thankful gesture.

"Whenever you're ready, I'm here," he promised her, and Erin could only offer him a nod in response lest she spilt her secret there and then at his loving words.

Dropping her hand from his body, she peered away from the gathering crowds and back towards the building they had come to raid. Their night was far from over, but the sooner they got back to the district, the sooner they could all go home. "We should get going. I don't think there's anything left to do here."

Jay nodded and closed the trunk door, peering over the roof of their car towards where their Sargent was standing, beckoning over whoever he can see of his team. "Let's go see what Voight wants first, though."

"Relax," Erin laughed when they started to make their way over, Jay making it more than obvious he was keeping a fair bit of distance between them. She had no doubt it was because of the kiss and her partner's fear of their boss seeing whilst on the clock, but she had to admit that it did push away all of her anxiety and worries at the sight of it. "He didn't see."

"Yeah, well, if he did," he began, pausing as they passed under the tape to approach their team. "I'll be the one to hear about it later, I'm sure."

"Aw, poor baby," she teased, bumping her shoulder into his as she purposely kept close to him. "I'll make it up to you."

Her remark earned her a smirk and a raised brow. "Don't you always?" Jay retorted with no need of a suggestive tone for them both to know what he meant.

Allowing a smile to play on Erin's lips, she took a small step away from him as they approached the rest of the team gathered around their boss and his car. She hadn't meant to but somehow, even with her consciously willing herself not to, she looked over casually towards where Malley had last been standing.

Something that felt like relief washed over her immediately when she failed to find it, but it was short-lived. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him closer than he had gotten since their conversation at the precinct, talking to another detective helping them on the case. He managed to keep looking at her, brow creased with his mouth pulled downwards into a frown. There was no doubt he had seen her kiss Jay, or them joking around a moment earlier. She had hoped it would send a message about how serious she was about being with someone, but something told her it wasn't going to be enough to deter him.

Trying her best to push those thoughts away before someone caught on to her turmoil, Erin willed herself to pay attention to Hank and his instructions, though it was rather hard to do when she could feel eyes continuously bore into the side of her head.

...

They closed the case two days later following another raid, this time successful. Unfortunately, it had resulted in the deaths of several members of the gang they were after, with both Jay and Antonio firing the fatal shots. Which meant the two of them were stuck with the paperwork that the Ivory Tower demanded to secure an ironclad case, leaving the rest of the team to not-so-guiltily retreat for a drink.

In Erin's defence, she had given Jay a half-hearted offer of a helping hand. He had thankfully seen through it and sent her to Molly's with the rest of the team, commenting it would only take him another hour or so and would grab a ride with Antonio to the pub. She hadn't offered twice, instead squeezing his shoulder and telling him she would see him soon before following Ruzak, Atwater and Burgess down the stairs.

Of course, she had beaten them all their destination. Deciding against waiting for them, she made her way towards the familiar pub, knowing there would be at least one person inside she knew to keep her company for the time being.

She had barely made it to the street corner when she regretted her decision. "Hello, Detective," the bane of her existence greeted her as he stepped in front of her and effectively blocking her way to the entrance of Molly's.

"Officer Malley," Erin replied dryly, tucking her hands into her jacket pockets though the late summer evening was still warm. "Can I get inside, please?"

"Let me buy you that drink we talked about," he insisted with a winning smile that probably would have worked plenty of other women but did nothing to convince her.

"I'm good, thanks," she replied, staring him down to watch as his smile faltered and his brow pinched together.

"Erin-," he began, but she shook her head and cut him off before she heard his attempt at striking up a conversation once again.

"Don't," Erin simply said, making sure her tone was authoritative and keeping her words simple so they couldn't be misconstrued. "Don't talk to me, don't pretend you know me. I'm here with my friends, so let's leave it at that and go our separate ways."

"I only want to talk. You never talk to me," Malley stated softly in a way that almost sounded like a whine when she was taken aback with hurt lacing his words.

Shaking her head, she refused to feel sympathy for the man who had been practically stalking her for the past three-odd weeks and stood her ground instead. "I don't know you, and I don't  _want_  to either. I don't want to be friends, we don't work together and I already have a boyfriend."

"Wait-," he tried again as she started to walk past him after she had said her part, grabbing her by the arm as she did so and turning her back to face him.

"Don't touch me," Erin warned him, dropping her arms by her sides after forcefully shaking off his hold. It had taken her a second to get over the shock of his sudden movement, having initially assumed he wasn't a physical threat to her. Now, she was no longer sure and was more than keen to head inside away from him.

Malley reached out once again, gripping onto her wrist with a tighter hold than earlier. "Let's just talk, okay?"

"No. Now let go of my wrist and walk away," she gritted out between her teeth, in both anger and frustration at his perseverance. "I said, let go!"

"You alright, Linds?" Malley finally retracted his hand and took a small step back a second before Erin had heard Ruzak's voice, knowing the other cop had seen him approach. Erin twisted slightly to look at her friend, watching as he took in the patrolman with discriminating eyes. "Who the hell are you?"

When Malley refused to answer, she sighed and shook her head. "He's no-one. Let's go inside," she told Ruzak, happy for the company that now allowed her to walk peacefully into Molly's.

She refused to look back at Malley or to see whether he followed, heading straight to the bar instead knowing her colleague was not a step behind her with a thousand questions. Though she wasn't sure exactly what Ruzak had seen, it was clear he had caught the tail end of the confrontation.

"What was that about?" he eventually asked when they approached the bar, leaning against it to face her.

Erin peered up at him, taking in his worried eyes and the frown playing on his features. Sighing, she shrugged as lightly as she could. "Nothing. How far are Atwater and Burgess?"

"Kev said they're around the corner," Ruzak replied before bringing the subject back to what they had been talking about. "Who was that guy?"

"No-one, Adam. Should we get some food?" she deflected, turning towards where she could see Otis at the other end of the bar serving some people from Med. When she failed to gain the firefighter's attention, or garner a response from her friend, Erin let out a deep breath and shifted so she was able to talk to Ruzak without facing him head-on. Lowering her voice, she pursed her lips every so slightly, "Just drop it, alright?"

"No, not alright. That guy was harassing you, and I'm pretty sure I've seen him around before," he rebuked, his voice matching her own with a sharp edge to his words. Erin noticed him peer over his shoulder towards the main door, scanning the distance in between too, for the other cop. Fortunately for her, he was nowhere to be seen.

"He's a cop. You've probably seen him at work," she offered just as she spotted Atwater and Burgess walk in. Laying a hand on Ruzak's arm, she offered him a small smile before telling him tersely, "Everything's fine, so you can leave it alone. Let's just enjoy our very rare evening off."

Ruzak nodded absentmindedly at her suggestion, and if she had bought him a couple of extra drinks to thank him for being a good friend without saying the words, no one commented on it. Especially not when he ended up being the first one drunk, before even Jay and Antonio had joined them, and giving them all something to laugh about after a hard few days.

…

Jay couldn't help but keep glancing over at his partner every few minutes as they worked the crime scene of the new case Intelligence had just caught. A triple murder in a shady underground nightclub which doubled as a gambling ring, and who knew what else. There weren't many witnesses, and the few that were still there being interviewed by Antonio, Burgess and a couple patrolmen were mostly useless due to their inebriated state.

Even as Erin carefully took in the scene, pointing out certain facts whilst asking questions or answering others', he couldn't help but notice her tense body. The way she meticulously carried out her job whilst shooting him a curious glance when he noticed her doing everything she could to avoid looking in the direction towards the bar where two patrolmen from another district stood waiting for further orders from Voight. Especially when he saw her falter slightly when canvassing the room, going out of her way to avoid the corridor that led to the backroom area where the officers stood.

If there was one thing Jay knew about his partner, it was that it took a lot to make her falter. Mix that with her recent constant exhaustion, which he had accepted her excuse of being overworked, and what Ruzek had recently told him about the confrontation he had seen at Molly's two nights previously, Jay could feel the familiar red-hot anger boil inside him as he put it all together.

Casually peeling off his black latex gloves, he approached Ruzak and made sure to angle his body away from the rest of the team. "Is that him?" he asked in a low tone, nodding towards the lone patrolman who was watching the rest of the scene with more intent than his partner.

"Yeah," Ruzek replied, though Jay had barely waited for his confirmation to unholster his gun and press it into his teammate's unexpecting hands, making sure he was unarmed as he approached the officer who had apparently been harassing his partner, his girlfriend. "No, wait. J-!" he could hear Ruzak call from behind him, as well as feel the rest of the team watch as he finally called out to their female teammate. "Erin!"

Any other day in any other situation, he knew he would probably have stopped when Erin asked him to. It was why Ruzak had directed her attention towards him. "Jay, don't," she pleaded, but her voice was far back behind him though he could still hear the tiredness in her voice that almost made the words sound half-hearted. It only drew to encourage him further.

Grabbing the officer by his shoulder to turn him away from where he was  _still_  staring out towards Erin, Jay made sure his entire attention was on him, the dark green eyes that stared back into his at equal height could see him fully, before giving him a rough shove that made him waver back a step. There was no way he was going to do this without the other man knowing exactly who he was dealing with. Without  _everyone_  knowing exactly who they would have to deal with for messing with Erin.

"You stay away from my partner, you hear me?" Jay warned the officer fiercely, finally getting out all of the rage, concern and need to simply  _act_  he had built up since finding out about someone harassing Erin. When the other cop had the nerve to simply raise an eyebrow at his words, Jay considered it to be justifiable provocation as he swung at him without a second though. The punch landed perfectly on the side of his face, causing him to stumble back in shock. Two strong hands gripped Jay's upper arms, holding him back from attacking again. "Otherwise, I swear, next time-"

"Alright, back up, bro," Antonio cut him off with a sharp tug back and turning him away from the patrolman now sporting a reddening shiner. Jay would have smirked at his good throw if he hadn't had his friend reminding him in his ear, "Don't go making threats in public; you know how that'll end."

Managing to shake off Antonio's hold just as Voight joined them, Jay inadvertently caught Erin's eyes from the middle of the crime scene and couldn't help but feel the slightest bit guilty for airing her obvious secret. But when her pursed lips melted into the smallest, resigned quirk, he knew that wasn't the first thought on her mind. Especially as she simultaneously sighed in what seemed like relief, the tension in her posture leaving her body with one single breath to seem more relaxed than he had seen her for a while.

"What's going on here?" Voight's gruff voice brought Jay back to the small gathering of three men now around him. Voight looked towards him when he failed to answer. "Halstead?"

"Nothing, Sarge," Jay answered, words sharp but delivered with a fake sense of calm. He knew Voight didn't believe him, nor did he care as he turned to the other cop involved.

"Nothing, sir," the patrolman agreed, not speaking up even as he began to bruise up before their very eyes. No-one wanted to be on the other end of Voight's infamous glare, especially not when they were trying to create trouble with his detectives. As much as Jay hated it at times, the fact they were protected to a certain extent by Voight's reputation definitely paid off.

There were a few seconds where Voight stood in silence and even Jay worried his boss might decide to take action on the words he had threatened the other man with before hitting him. Erin was, for all intent and purpose, his daughter. Eventually, however, he nodded and dismissed them all, though not without a pat on Jay's shoulder which felt obscenely a lot like pride.

…

Erin found him in the locker room straddling a wooden bench with a first aid kit in front of him. They had returned to the district separately after Voight had insisted Jay chased up a lead with the head of security for the club whilst she remained at the scene until forensics were done with it. They hadn't exchanged another word nor look after he had disappeared into the back of the club with Antonio so she hadn't seen what his hand looked like after punching Officer Malley. If she were to guess based on the reddening of the patrolman's face and the power Jay possessed, it was most likely bruised.

"You shouldn't have done that," she commented, eying the way Jay tried to bandage up his hand as she leant against a locker.

He glanced up at her briefly and shook his head. "You're my partner. I have your back, no matter what," he stated rather too matter-of-factly for her liking.

Sighing, Erin approached the bench to sit opposite him, taking the bandage he was struggling with out of his hands and grasping his injured hand in her own to give it the once over. "Who told you?" she asked quietly, allowing his hand more attention than was needed as she avoided his gaze.

"Ruzak. Said some guy was harassing you at Molly's the other night," Jay informed her with a nonchalant shrug she knew he would be faking, and she wasn't sure right then if she was madder at his calmness or at Ruzek selling her out.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Erin asked, catching his eyes for the first time since she had entered.

"Why didn't  _you_  say anything?" he retorted, arching a brow. His eyes told her that he wasn't upset or hurt, but rather confused and she hated seeing the doubts that mixed with it. Not wanting to see it any longer, she focused once again on his hand instead, retrieving the ice pack from the first aid kit and putting all of her efforts into activating it. "You should have told me."

Erin crushed the ice pack between her hands numerous times until she felt it was cold enough to help numb his knuckles. Picking up his right hand, she held it flat before pressing the pack to the minor injury.

"I didn't know how to. Not without making it into a big deal and I  _really_  didn't want to make it into a big deal," she finally answered truthfully, offering him a rueful smile when she peered back up at him in hopes of placating him with a simple explanation of what her reasonings really had been.

She knew it hadn't worked the moment he frowned; lips turning down at the corners as his brow creased when he drew them together as he riled himself up once again. "It  _is_  a big deal, Erin! He was  _harassing_  you," Jay reiterated, and she could feel him tense up just by his hand in her own. If they were still at the scene, there was no doubt he would be splitting open a knuckle with another punch as his own words worked him up.

"I could handle it," she tried to assure him but he shook his head before she could even get the words out.

"You shouldn't  _have_  to. He was out of line and you shouldn't have had to deal with it, not alone at least," he said, tone softening out towards the end as his free hand came to rest upon her thigh and squeezed almost apologetically.

Erin blew out a breath and nodded in concession to show she understood what he was saying. Sitting in silence for a moment, she mulled over her thoughts before realising that it was  _Jay_  sat in front of her. She had never needed to plan what she was going to say to him before, and that was something that she hoped would never change. Instead of trying to think through with how to tell him everything that had gone through her mind ever since she had met Officer Malley, she decided to simply talk. He had never had an issue with keeping up with her before; it was what made them such great partners after all.

"I know I didn't have to but I wanted to. I  _needed_  to. I needed to show him that I was stronger than what he was doing. I didn't want to be another one of those female cops who loses their jobs or career prospects because of some bastard who can't handle being rejected. You know how it goes, Jay, regardless of who is in the wrong. So I hoped it would just kind of disappear. I thought if I didn't show any reaction, he'd get bored and leave me alone," she explained, hoping she was articulating her entire thought process from over the past month in a way so he could see it from her point of view. Watching as he swallowed thickly, she tightened her hold on his hand and shuffled a bit closer so she could pull their grasped hands in towards her stomach where the sharp cold of the ice pack contrasted dramatically with the heat of her body. Her knees pressed against his legs and she could feel every breath he took, hoping he could feel the meaning of her words too. "And I didn't want you jeopardizing  _your_  job over it, either. I knew how you'd react."

"I don't care about my job, Erin. I care about  _you_. You come first, always. It's my job to protect you, both on and off the clock, and  _yes_ ," Jay told her, cutting her off with a sharp word and a teasing smile when she tried to interrupt, proving once again how well he knew her when he continued, "I know you can look after yourself. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop. Ever."

"I know, and I love you so much for it," she replied, matching his smile with an adoring one. Leaning in, she met his lips with her own. She kept it sweet and simple, applying the minimal pressure to turn it into something more than a fleeting kiss but nothing more that could be confused for being completely inappropriate for work.

Jay pressed one final kiss to her lips before sitting back with a small sigh. Temporarily removing his grip off her leg, he rubbed his temple with the pads of his fingers in an action Erin knew was his tell for when he was trying to keep his emotions in check. "Okay, I understand where you're coming from. I'm so sorry that you went through this alone for over a month and I didn't even notice."

Erin shrugged again; accepting and dismissing his apology instantly. "I kept it quiet. Everything is so good with us right now so I focused on that. It made it easier to forget," she explained honestly, knowing that without the man in front of her, she would have gone a bit stir crazy and probably even acted out herself due to Malley's actions.

He squeezed her leg to capture her full attention, making sure he held her eyes so she could see the earnest in them. "You can tell me  _anything_ , sweetheart. No matter what you think I'll do, it's important that you know you don't have to go through life alone. I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't come to me,"

"It's not on you, Jay. I was- I guess I was scared. Telling you would have made it so much more real," Erin admitted, shaking her head. Moving his injured hand away from her, she took off the ice pack to inspect the cold-reddened knuckles, happy to find there was no swelling. "Maybe if I  _had_  said something earlier, we could have avoided all this."

"I doubt it. Beating up guys who harass you is kinda my thing. I plan on doing it for a very long time," he lightly teased, eliciting a smile out of her even as became serious. "For the rest of our lives actually, if you'd let me."

Erin frowned in confusion at his elusive words, growing into fully blown uncertainty when he jumped up and headed towards his locker. Though she knew his right hand must have been aching, he didn't show it as he dug straight into the go bag she knew he kept in there and rifled through for a few seconds.

"Jay, what are you doing?" she eventually asked, scoffing in exasperation when he held up a finger to give him a minute. He returned back to the bench not a few seconds later with a small black box in hand, and she couldn't hold back the quiet gasp when she realised it was perfect to contain a ring.

"I've been wanting to do this for a while now, Erin. I love you and I always want to be the one you can turn to, who can protect you and beat up people for you. I'm a very possessive person, in case you haven't noticed," Jay said wryly as she nodded in agreement, her eyes torn between his own and the beautiful ring he revealed by opening the box. "Mostly, I just want to be with you, and I want to be able to call you my wife. Will you marry me?"

"You chose  _here_ , now?" Erin whispered with a watery laugh, causing him to shoot her his typical boyish grin.

"It felt right," he stated nonchalantly.

Shaking her head, she reached out to skim over the soft top of the ring box before gently laying it on his hand. "You have a bruised hand. I thought you'd be mad at me for not telling you. Not-" she faltered momentarily as she took in the ring and the man in front of her, still trying to wrap her head around the reality of the moment. "Not asking me to  _marry_  you."

"And I thought you'd mad at me for making a scene," Jay countered coolly.

Shrugging, she blew out a breath and smiled softly at him. "I can't be mad when you're proposing."

"Can you give me an answer then?"

"Yes, Jay. I want to be with you, too," Erin answered without another second's hesitation, and by the grin that curved on his lips at her words, she knew she would never have doubts about it either. "And have you call me your wife the next time you beat someone up for me."


End file.
